Edtallica II: Out of the Asylum
by Belgie
Summary: The long awaited sequel to Edtallica. The band returns to the studio to record a followup album after a long four year hiatus. Chapter 11 up!
1. Get Me Jason Newsted!

Disclaimer: You guys probably have grasped the fact that I don't own anything but Christian, Iron Fist, and Pierre. Oh, and I guess I own my first story, "Edtallica", too!

Before I give you the sequel that you've been waiting so anxiously pining for, here's a little background info. This story takes place four years after "Edtallica" ended, so that means that Ed, Edd, and Christian are 21, and Ed is 22. There's going to be some writing differences in here, too. Anything that looks like **_this_** is a flashback, just a heads up, there're going to be _lots_ of flashbacks!

Edtallica II: Return of the Metal Mental Cases 

Chapter 1: Get me Jason Newsted!

Jason Newsted looked at the large Chophouse Records group photo. The veteran bassist recalled taking the photo before the bands departed on the huge Chophouse Records Summer Tour '06. He smiled as he saw the band members of Voivod, Echo Brain, and Edtallica huddled together in various poses. That tour did great things for his record label as well as for the bands that took part in it.

Jason glanced up at his wall, which was decked nearly from corner to corner with platinum records that he either made with his various bands or produced himself. "Metallica", "Echo Brain", "Heavy Metal Mental Cases"…

"They were so _good_. What the hell happened?…"

It had been four long years since that album hit the shelves and went platinum. Four years since that tour, which was Edtallica's first, and hopefully, not last. Four years since Edtallica had to "hang out for a while", not by choice, but because they had to.

**_December 25th, 2007, 10:24 PM; Newsted's homestead_**

_**RRIINNNGG….RINNGGGGG… **_

"_**Yeah?" **_

"_**Jason? It's Eddy, you gotta get to the hospital, man, pronto!" **_

"_**What are you talking about?" **_

"_**Christian crashed his car real bad! The doctors think that they might have to amputate part of his leg or something, hurry!" **_

………………………

It took Christian six months altogether to heal after the surgery and go through physical therapy. Then, Christian checked into the Betty Ford clinic for four months. Double D followed suit and entered rehab after he nearly died from a grief-drinking binge. Two of the "metal mental cases" in the Betty Ford clinic battling demons made it impossible to work on a follow-up album.

Jason put the picture back down on the desk and leaned back in his office chair.

"Thank God Ed and Eddy managed to stay clean." Jason muttered.

**_February 17th, 2007 2:15 PM; Chophouse Records_**

"_**Guys, I just got a call from the clinic, Double D just checked himself in this morning…" Jason said to the two distraught Eds. **_

"_**Good…yeah." Ed sighed, "At least he checked himself in like Christian, I don't think I'd be able to stand dragging him in kicking and screaming, huh Eddy?" **_

"_**Great… this is just fucking great…" Eddy scoffed, "What are we supposed to do? Half the band's in frickin' rehab for God knows how long!" **_

"_**We can't just rebuild the band, can we?" Ed asked, "I mean, they're gonna check out soon, right?" **_

"_**Christian should be out pretty within the next few weeks, the doctors and psychologists say he's showing progress!" Jason replied, trying to lift the spirits of the remaining two band members. **_

"_**That's good, but what about Double D?" Eddy inquired, "Even when Christian gets out we're still down a guitar player, and I don't think Mullet's anywhere near good enough to write 'Eddward the Great' caliber solos. No offense or anything, Mullet." **_

"_**None taken, Eddy!" Ed answered simply, "If it's true, don't deny it! That's what I always say… sometimes!" **_

"_**Well uh… here's what I think you should do," the producer declared, "Once Christian checks out, see if he's up to making to writing some more music." **_

"_**He will be, he's always psyched to play!" Eddy exclaimed, flipping the heavy metal salute in anticipation. **_

"_**OK, good. As far as Double D's concerned, he just checked in, and judging by his condition, he's gonna be in there for a pretty long time." Jason continued, "As much as I hate to say this guys, we might have to find a new guitar player…" **_

"_**We've gotta WHAT?" Eddy yelped. **_

"_**It doesn't have to be permanent, guys." The veteran rocker quipped, "Besides, I bet Double probably doesn't want us just waiting around sittin' on our hands, right?" **_

_**Jason looked at the Eds, waiting for their response. After a few seconds, Ed grinned. **_

"_**You betcha, cap'n!" Ed exclaimed, giving Jason a mock Navy salute and elbowing Eddy playfully, "We can't let our lifelong chum down, huh Eddy?" **_

"_**Nope!" Eddy said, a smile slowly slithering its way to the drummer's face, "But where're we supposed to find another guitar player?" **_

"_**Are you kiddin' me, Eddy?" Jason questioned, "This's California, you're not in Detroit or Toronto anymore. You can't swing a stick without whacking a guitarist in these parts!" **_

"_**Whacking guitar players?" Ed joked elbowing his friend again, "That sounds like a plan, huh?" **_

"_**Yeah sure Ed… Ow! Damn it, Ed, what've I told you about elbowing people?" **_

………………………………

They found a guitar player that next day, a young Floridian named "Heavy Metal" Hank Heinreich. Hank was a great player and helped write a few riffs with Ed. They even did a few demo recordings of some new songs with "Heavy Metal" Hank at the lead guitar reins. He thought the recordings sounded good, but still…

"Eddy probably put it best," Jason said, "It just didn't _feel_ right… but God bless 'em, they stuck with Hank 'til Double D got out!"

Double D got out of rehab about ten months later, and when he did, he reclaimed his spot, but he was still a bit out of it from rehab. He was fine after a few days, so the band "fired" Hank on friendly terms. Even with the band back together, attempts at recording didn't work, causing the band to go on an even _longer_ hiatus, which still continued.

That confused Jason. He knew that the Eds at least were still all right. He'd read all of Double D's columns in _Revolver Magazine_ and tuned in every week to see Ed and Eddy as carefree as ever on HeadBanger's Ball every Saturday. Since that was the case, why didn't they make any more music?

A light knock on the door jolted Jason from his thoughts.

"Uh… Mr. Newsted?"

"Yeah? It's open!"

"Sorry to like, disturb you, sir but you've got a phone call." His assistant Jake said.

"Who is it?"

"Um… some guy named Eddward McAllister, I think…"

The producer's eyes grew as wide as dinner plates as he swiped the phone from his scatter-brained assistant.

"D-Double D? Is that you?" Jason asked excitedly.

"Sure is, Jase." The familiar voice answered, "It's been awhile…"

"Damn straight it has!" he happily exclaimed, "So what can I do for ya?"

"I just got off the phone with Ed and Eddy, you wanna help us record some music?"

"Dude, do you know how long I've been waiting to hear one of you guys ask me that?" Jason said, "Hell yeah, sure I'll produce you guys again. When can you come down?"

"I don't know, a couple of weeks, Ed and Eddy still have to get in touch with Christian, then they've gotta fly down here." Edd said, "It's been four years, my friend, the way I see it, another week or two won't hurt."

"Makes sense to me, just try to get your fellow mental cases to San Rafael as soon as you can, I'll be waiting." Jason concluded.

"You'd better! I'll see you then." Edd said.

"Bye." Jason said, hanging up the phone.

The veteran bassist stood a few seconds, excitement already welling up inside him. He let out a loud whoop and handed the phone back to Jake.

"Jake, I need you to call the travel agent and have him reserve some plane tickets." Jason ordered, "It looks like the mental cases finally broke out of the asylum!"

A/N: Hi, it's your favorite Belgian-born rocker, back with a sequel! Ok, I know this chapter may be a tad boring and short for my style, but it had to be done. Sorry I couldn't get this up sooner, I had to finish up the final play of the school year for drama club (I still have the damned theme from "Footloose" stuck in my head… o well, nothing a good heavy metal binge won't fix!), and then my computer acted up again. But all is well now, hurray! Well, you know the drill, read and review this while I get my skinny Belgian fingers working on Chapter 2!


	2. Heavy Metal Matrimony

Disclaimer: I don't own squat… blah blah blah, I own Christian, Pierre, Iron Fist, and my other story Edtallica, I guess, dribble dribble dribble…

Ok, I actually know where I'm going with this now, so it should be fun. Ok, the next couple of chapters are going to focus on what's going on with each of the band members before they get going to San Rafael to record stuff. This one focuses mainly on Ed, enjoy!

Chapter 2: Heavy Metal Matrimony

**_July 10th, 2007; 9:45 PM: Philadelphia, PA_**

"_**Thank you Philadelphia! That's our show, g'night!" **_

_**The usual final note was struck before the lights were cut, giving Edtallica the chance to slink off stage to make room for the next band. **_

"_**Woo-hoo, we rocked!" Christian cheered. **_

"_**Yeah man, they totally loved us! Did you see how many kids had our t-shirts on? We're actually starting to build up a fan-base!" Eddy exclaimed. **_

"_**And more fans means more album sales!" Ed added, "Jason says we're just two hundred away from going platinum!" **_

"_**Hey Ed!" **_

"_**Oh, hey Jason. What's up, aren't you and Voi Vod supposed to go on next?" Ed asked. **_

"_**Yeah, I'm on my way out right now." The bassist/producer replied, "Eileen told me to tell you to meet her by your bus, she said it was important." **_

"_**Ok, thanks Jason!" Ed said, patting his producer friend on the back before making his way towards the bus parking area. **_

"_**Hey Ed, where ya going?" Christian called. **_

"_**I have to go talk to Eileen a little bit, I'll be back guys!" Ed answered. **_

_**After wandering around and getting lost a few times, Ed finally made it to where the busses were parked. Once he was out there, he saw his longtime girlfriend leaning against the huge Winnebago (or as they called it "Gas Guzzlin' Gus") that Edtallica shared with Echo Brain. **_

"_**Hey Eileen sorry it took me awhile, I got lost!" Ed said, giving Eileen a quick kiss, "Jason said that you said this was important, what did you want to talk about?" **_

_**Eileen took a few seconds before answering. "Uh… remember how we 'rocked the Kasbah' a few weeks back?" **_

_**Ed nodded and put on a devilish grin. "Yep! That was fun… we made so many references to famous movies… Why do you ask?" **_

"_**Um… let's just say that something actually can get by a Trojan…" Eileen muttered. **_

"_**Yeah, totally! USC sucks!" Ed exclaimed, "Long live the Wolverines!" **_

"_**No Ed… it's… I'm pregnant." Eileen concluded, looking down at her Chuck Taylor's. **_

"_**Whoa, good timing, Eileen!" Ed exclaimed. **_

_**Ed got down on his right knee and rummaged through his pocket until he found the velvety case. He opened the box and tried his best to pop the question as smoothly as he had practiced. **_

"_**Uh… Eileen?" Ed asked, "Do you um… wanna marry me?" **_

_**The mulleted one put on his trademark toothy grin and leaned forward slightly in anticipation. **_

"_**Aw… Ed, of course I'll marry you." Eileen whispered, taking the ring. **_

"_**HOORAY! She said yes! I am the man!" Ed whooped, taking a victory backward duck walk. **_

……

"You ready for this, Ed?" Eddy asked his friend while he straightened his tie.

"Yeah, I've got some serious pre-gig jitters, though!" Ed exclaimed, trying to tie his mullet into a ponytail.

"Pfft, more like pre-plunge jitters, Mullet!" Eddy laughed, "C'mon, we've played in front of crowds of thousands of screeching fans, this is just playing a game of 'Repeat after Me' with the minister in front of maybe a hundred family members. This should be a frickin' cake walk for you!"

"Yeah maybe, but if it's a cake walk for me, it's going to be a breeze for you, you're just my best man, all you do is stand still and look pretty!" Ed laughed, slugging his buddy on the arm affectionately.

"Daddy?"

"Oh hey, little buddy, what is it?" Ed asked, going over towards his four-year-old son, Shamus.

"I can't tie my tie good…" Shamus answered, flapping the tie in frustration.

"Oh, ok, here let me help." Ed said, slowly and carefully tying the tiny necktie, "There ya go, now you go sit with Grandma and Grandpa and be extra quiet, ok?"

"Ok!" Shamus chirped.

After opening the door for his son, Ed turned to resume the struggle with his hair.

Eddy chuckled.

"What?" Ed asked, giving friend a weird look.

"Aw… You're a good daddy there, Mullet!" Eddy guffawed.

"Yes I am!" Ed replied simply.

A loud knock came from the other side of the door.

"If you guys are ready, you should probably go out now!" The usher called.

The two overdressed band mates gave each other a reassuring nod and high-five before beginning the walk towards the aisle.

'Well Ed, here we go!' Ed thought as he walked down the aisle.

After a long, slow stroll with organ music accompanying him, Ed finally took his place at the front of the church with Eddy beside him. Five minutes of mounting nerves and holding back laughter from the sight of Eddy in a bow tie with un-aqua-netted hair passed before the familiar organ song "Here comes the Bride" rang through the small Catholic Church. A few seconds later, Ed's bride-to-be came out in a flowing white dress, followed by the bride's maids. As he looked at her, Ed felt a tear fall down his cheek.

After Eileen made it up to the altar, they played "repeat after me" with the minister. Then they exchanged vows that they wrote themselves, much to Eddy's dismay.

Eddy didn't pay too much attention to the vow exchange, but he picked up bits and pieces. Eileen said something about how Ed asked her out for the first time, and somehow incorporated it with lots of other stuff for about twenty minutes. Then ol' Ed yammered on for just as long about how strong and beautiful Eileen was for putting up with the tour and with him in general. Maybe he should have paid a little more attention to his best buddy's vows, but Eddy knew he wasn't what people would call a "wedding person".

Eddy was taken out of his thoughts by the infamous phrase "You may now kiss the bride". Eddy clapped with the rest of the guests as the newlyweds shared a five-minute lip-lock. Once Mr. and Mrs. Ed O'Hare walked back down the aisle together, Eddy let out a sigh of relief.

"Finally!" Eddy muttered, letting his tie loose as he walked over to congratulate his lifelong pal.

"Thanks for being my best man, Eddy!" Ed exclaimed, grappling his friend into a huge bear hug.

"No… problem… big guy" Eddy gasped, "Now let me go… I can't breathe and you're wrinklin' my tux!"

"Whoops, sorry Eddy!" Ed exclaimed, putting Eddy down.

About four hours after the wedding, the reception followed. Ed couldn't focus on the guests; he was too excited about going to California that following week to work on the new album. He hadn't seen Double D, Christian, or Jason in four years; he could hardly wait another second!

"Hey Ed, I've got a surprise for ya!" Eddy called, "Look who made it just in time for yer reception!"

"I'll give you guys a couple minutes to catch up, I'm gonna go show that guy in the band over there how to play the damn drums!" Eddy continued, finishing his second glass of red wine.

"Hello Ed!"

"DOUBLE D!" Ed yelled, giving his long lost pal one of his infamous bear hugs, "I haven't seen you in forever! Where've you been?"

"I've been in San Diego writing some columns for _Revolver_, Ed. I thought you had a subscription." Edd said.

"Oh yeah, that's right!" Ed said.

Ed was happy to see his old friend again, but something felt sort of weird.

"Hey, where'd all your hair go, Double D?" Ed asked, rubbing his friends new shorter hairdo.

"I figured that I should start fresh before we make the new album, " Edd answered, "That and do you have any idea how hot it can get in San Diego?"

The loud crashing of drums interrupted their conversation. Much to their embarrassment, Eddy had taken the place behind the drum kit and was beating the intro drum solo to "Helpless".

"Oh dear lord…I thought he was joking!" Edd muttered, slapping himself on the forehead.

"Yep, he's still got it, huh Double D?" Ed said, "Aw… somebody's gonna sleep tonight!"

Once Eddy finished showing off, the reception continued for another two hours. After saying goodbye to all one hundred fifty guests and making sure that Shamus was going back home with Ed's parents, Ed and Eileen got into their limo and went home to enjoy their wedding night alone.

Ed lay awake in bed as his wife's breath blew softly against his neck. He knew he probably should sleep, but he was still way too excited. He'd seen Double D for the first time in over four years _and_ he still hadn't seen Christian or Jason in just as long. He wasn't scheduled to go for another week, but he could hardly wait another second.

A/N: Aw… doesn't that chapter kinda make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Oh yeah, no offense to any USC fans, I don't hate the Trojans, the pun was just too good to pass up. I'm alson not a fanof the Wolverines. Well here's another short chapter for you to read and review. Don't worry I'm sure I'll get back into my at least 10 pages a chapter mode after I write a few more.


	3. Left in Good Hands

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Christian, Pierre, the guys in Iron Fist, my first story, my sanity, and uh… that's about it.

This installment will be yet another character-focus chapter! Uh… not much more to say really, except for this one focuses on Eddy. _Voila._

Chapter 3: Left in Good Hands

**_August 18th, 2005; 10:00 PM: Toronto Sky Dome _**

"_**Hey everybody! You ready for this? The judges have finally decided on a winner of this year's Mosh Rock Contest!" Lightening Leif babbled. **_

_**Edtallica sat in their dressing room, leaning forward towards the screen nervously. **_

"_**Here we go! Drum roll please!" Leif screamed. **_

"_**C'mon all ready!" Eddy yelled at the screen, pulling his heavily re-sprayed hair anxiously. **_

_**The loud-mouthed Disc Jockey opened up a black envelope slowly and pulled out a sheet of paper. **_

"_**And the winner of the Mosh Rock '05 is…. EDTALLICA!" Leif bellowed. **_

_**The band erupted with cheers of triumph, exchanging high-fives and dude-hugs. Their celebration was cut short by a sharp knocking on the dressing room door. **_

"_**Guys, they want you out on stage, c'mon!" The guy with the clipboard shouted. **_

_**After taking a few seconds to gasp loudly, the band scrambled for the door and out towards the stage. Just as they made it up to the curtain, Christian stopped his band mates, moving his hair away from his ears, as though trying to hear something. **_

"_**C'mon Christian, they want us out on stage, man!" Eddy griped. **_

"_**Yeah, yeah, I know but listen!" Christian said, cupping a hand to his ear. **_

_**The Eds too hearkened their ears towards the stage, where a loud but muffled roar greeted them. **_

"_**EDTALLICA!…. EDTALLICA!…. EDTALLICA!…" **_

"_**Dude…" Eddy breathed, "They can't be… there's no way!" **_

_**The Ontarian grinned and nodded a few times. **_

"_**They're chanting our name!" Eddy cried in disbelief. **_

_**Edd's jaw dropped, a grin beginning to form on his face, too. **_

"_**Woo-hoo!" Ed yelled, "They like us, guys! Let's give 'em what they want!" **_

_**The band then charged out onto the stage to an uproarious yell from the audience. After acknowledging the crowd for a few seconds, the band turned to shake hands with the judges. **_

_**Eddy tried his best to keep from screaming like an excited schoolgirl while he went down the line of heavy metal royalty that had been selected to judge the contest. He thought he was home free, but soon all bets were off. **_

"'_**Sup man? You guys were awesome!" Tommy Lee exclaimed, sticking out his hand for Eddy to shake. **_

_**The drummer felt his eyes grow wider than dinner plates as he extended his extremely shaky hand. **_

"_**You're Eddy, right?" **_

"_**Y-y-y-yeah…" Eddy stuttered. **_

"_**You rocked out there, dude! How long've you been playing for?" Tommy questioned. **_

"_**B-'bout six years." Eddy replied, starting to regain his composure, "You're like, my hero, man!" **_

_**The drum god smiled and punched Eddy on the shoulder lightly. **_

"_**Thanks man, I get that a lot," he chuckled, "Nice hair, by the way!" **_

Eddy pulled into his driveway and into his humble two-story house. He then slowly climbed the stairs up to his bedroom, where he flopped on his bed. After quickly tearing off his bowtie and tux, he flopped lazily into bed. The clock on his bedside table read 11:45.

"Pfft. I wonder what Ed and Eileen could _possibly _be doing now?" Eddy muttered to himself sarcastically.

He chuckled quietly to himself as he rolled over, trying desperately to eliminate the unwanted mental image of his friend having fun in a very un-Catholic ways.

The drummer of Dutch descent closed his eyes and tried to get the sleep that he needed for a demanding day of tomfoolery on yet another showing of the Headbanger's Ball with ol' Mullet.

Ah, the Ball… it'd been his pride and joy since he and his band mates decided to "hang out for awhile". Even though he knew that he and Ed found a more than qualified stand-in host for the show, he still felt a bit sad that he and Ed would be leaving the show that they worked hard to rebuild. Perhaps it was for the best, though.

The drummer grinned, teeming with excitement at the thought of getting back behind the drums to make another album. Another album meant a summer tour, summer tours meant album sales, album sales meant more _cash_… and uh… fans! Fans were always important.

Visions of cheering crowds and platinum records danced about the Van Dam-inator's head until he drifted off to sleep.

"Ok, you guys are on in five…four…three…two…" The cameraman whispered, finally giving Ed and Eddy the gesture to start the show.

"Hey! Good Saturday evening metal heads around the world. Oh yes, it is time for yet another episode of Headbanger's Ball here on MTV. It's Eddy Van Dam alongside the now –sorry ladies- newlywed Ed O'Hare!" Eddy mused, "So, Ed, did you sleep well last night?"

Ed gave his buddy a brief weird look before nodding. "Oh you betcha, Eddy! Now before Eddy gets all 'fired up', let's get on with the show shall we?"

"Yeah, yeah sure whatever you dog you!" Eddy joked, elbowing Ed for once, "Tonight we've got a very, nay, _extremely_ special guest. But first, we've got another issue to disgust, right Mullet?"

"You are correct sir!" Ed replied, directing his gaze to the camera and pushing 'play' on the CD player they brought on set, causing their first album to play, "Yes, the internet rumor's true, Edtallica _is _getting back together for another album!"

"Now we could yammer on forever about the album ourselves, but instead, we've got our good buddy Christian on the line right now! Christian, can ya hear us?"

"Yeah I can hear you guys!"

"Ok cool, why don't you tell everybody something about our new album?" Eddy suggested.

Christian laughed. "What's there to tell? We've got like, maybe one song done!"

"Yeah, but that's one song that we don't have to write, huh guys?" Ed asked.

The three band mates continued their conversation for another five minutes before breaking for a commercial. They resumed their usual hair-brained antics for another hour afterward, leaving about ten minutes for their finale.

"Well tonight's been great, but sadly it's going to be the last Ball installment we do for awhile…" Eddy sulked, pretending to cry.

"Yeah, but fear not good metal heads, for we have a great substitute for ya!" Ed proclaimed happily.

"So without further ado, we bring you our special guest, the greatest Headbanger's ball host ever…. Riki fuckin' Rachtman!" Eddy exclaimed.

"Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith played as the early host walked out onto the set. Ed and Eddy stood up and jokingly bowed down screaming "We're not worthy!" like Wayne and Garth did in _Wayne's World _movies whenever they were in the presence of greatness.

Rachtman laughed and pulled the two rockers to their feet.

"Thanks boys, and don't worry, your show'll be in good hands with me!" Riki stated.

"Ah, it's always been your show, Rik…" Eddy scoffed.

"Yeah, me and Eddy have just been keeping it warm for ya!" Ed agreed, "Wanna close the show Mr. Rachtman?"

Riki grinned and faced the camera. "Well that's all the time we've got for tonight, but before we go, I wanna wish Edtallica good luck with their new album, hopefully they'll go on tour too, goodnight everybody!"

A/N: And all is right with the heavy metal world… Heh, I think it's safe to say I'm the only one who's included Jason Newsted and Riki Rachtman in a fan fic! Well anyway, sorry it took me forever to get this up. I had an English project to work on, and then I had finals to study for, it was terrible. Well, thanks for not giving up on me! Read and review while I work on chapter 4!


	4. Goin' to California

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Christian, Pierre, the guys in Iron Fist, and my first story _Edtallica_ I guess. Somebody else owns everything else.

Ah, summer… the only time of year where I'm so bored that all I have to do is sit back and let my imagination (and my muse, Steve) think of ideas… Which is why I'm ready to make chapter 4. Now, I know people are probably getting a tad bored of the single-character focus chapters, and to tell you the truth, I am too. Because o' this, I've decided to get back into my groove and make chapter 4 a little more interesting… and longer!

On a different note, I've noticed that some writers like to respond to their reviews and thank those who've reviewed for past chapters, and since I appreciate all of my readers n' reviewers, I've decided to take that up as well. So here we go:

Eddismybibabi: Thanks for reviewing and giving me your opinions. It's good to meet another Wayne's World fan. Uh… as for the Linkin Park thing, though, I don't know if I'll be able to do that, thanks for the suggestion though. I hope this doesn't stop you from reading. Lots of other bands will make appearances, though. Oh yeah, the next chapter is right now!

_Golgatha B: As always, thanks for reviewing. I'm aiming to make this as good as Edtallica, you can count on it! _

_Double-Z: Don't worry; I intend to keep doing my best on this, thanks for reading! Oh yeah, keep working on The Ed of Something, too! _

_Lil' Freak 3 of 2008: Thanks for the much-appreciated reviews, dude. _

_Wolfgurl & GerudoPrincess: Heh, I knew I'd get somebody to feel warm n' fuzzy inside with chapter 2! _

_StinkyWrix: Thanks for being one of the first Edtallica fans; I hope I'll have your support for the rest of this story, too! _

Sorry if I forgot anybody, but for the sake of getting on with it, here's chapter 4!

**PAGE BREAK! **

Chapter 4: Goin' to California

**_December 24, 2007; San Francisco, California: 11:52 PM  
_**

**_"Hey, barkeep, gimme another Labat, man!" Christian slurred.  
_**

**_The bartender glanced up at the platinum blonde kid who had called to him; the same one who asked for another drink just a few minutes ago. He glanced up at the clock. It was almost eleven o'clock, and he was almost positive that the kid had been there since at least seven.  
_**

**_"Don't you think you've had enough, kid?" he asked, raising an eyebrow to the youngster.  
_**

**_"Whaddaya mean 'do I think I've had enough'?" Christian retorted, "I said I wanna 'nother drink, now c'mon!"  
_**

**_"Sorry pal, I'm going to have to cut you off." The bartender responded firmly.  
_**

**_The Canuck snorted. "H-Hey, don't you have any idea who the hell I think I am?" _**

"**_No, but I know that you're probably too drunk to remember…" he replied, "Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave_." **

"_**What? You can't tell me what to do, I'm a fuckin' rock god!" Christian drunkenly declared. **_

"_**Sir, either you leave now, or I'm going to have to call the police, which is it gonna be?" The bartender questioned. **_

"_**You want me to go? Fine, I'll leave!" Christian hiccupped, "I'm sure there's gotta be another bar around here that'll give a beer to a frickin' rock god when he asks for one! Now good day ta you, sir!" **_

_**The bassist bumbled his way out of the bar, mumbling drunken ramblings under his breath about the difference between an American bartender and a Canadian bartender. By the time he tottered all the way to his black Thunder Bird convertible, he concluded that American bartenders were wimps and Canadian bartenders were tough n' hardy folk who gave you a beer when you wanted one, or if you were a rock star or hockey player, 'two'! **_

_**He revved up the engine of the already fast car, which he poured lots of money into fixing up the engine to go even faster, and sped out of the parking lot, tires squealing as he went. **_

_**The snow was falling oddly thick that night, making his visibility limited, thus making the Canadian's intoxicated driving even worse. The fresh snow quickly covered his windshield. Despite the best efforts of his windshield wipers, the snow kept pounding the window. **_

"_**Damn American snow!" Christian sloshed, "How'm I s'posed to see where the other bars are when it keeps landing on my window?" **_

_**He mumbled something else about how Canadian snow would NEVER do something as dumb as land on your windshield. He then thought of the perfect plan, he'd open his door and look out from it. That would show that stupid American snow who was boss! **_

_**He opened his door and stuck his head out, the chilling breeze blowing back his hair and pounding his face with snowflakes. As he was sputtering from the snowflakes and squinting from the harsh winds, his car ran over a patch of black ice. Christian's car swerved violently, and before his alcohol infested brain could grasp what was happening, his car flipped over the guard railings on the side of the road, landing heavily on the drivers side; with his left leg still hanging out the door. **_

_**---------------------------------------------- **_

**_December 25th, a California hospital: 8:15 AM _**

_**Christian's eyes slithered open slowly, immediately wincing from his throbbing hangover. **_

"_**Doctor, he's waking up!" a female voice called. **_

"_**Oh, excellent!" a deep male voice responded. **_

_**Christian blinked a few times, and then gazed about his surroundings. **_

"_**Oh man! Bad hangover, very bad hangover!" Christian muttered, massaging the sides of his head tenderly. **_

_**As he continued looking, he noticed that his arms were covered in stitches and bandages; half of his head was covered in a huge piece of gauze, and also something very disturbing… **_

"_**Ah! W-Where'd the rest of my leg go!" Christian yelped, frantically groping around his hospital bed for the missing half of his left limb. **_

"_**Christian, calm down! I can explain everything." The doctor assured the self-proclaimed rock god. **_

_**Christian calmed himself down, but still stared wide-eyed at his incomplete leg. **_

"_**Do you remember anything that happened last night, Christian?" the doctor inquired slowly. **_

"_**Uh… I remember that I went to some bar for a few drinks… then… I don't know; it gets kinda fuzzy from there, eh. I guess I blacked out," Christian recalled. **_

"_**That's probably not too far from the truth, actually." The doctor stated, "You crashed your car on the highway last night, flipped it actually. The lower portion of your left leg was caught in the door; it was barely hanging on by a thread when the ambulance brought you here. A few other surgeons and I determined that that half of your leg was probably useless, and was only going to spread the infection to the rest of your leg. Therefore, we had no choice but to amputate." **_

_**Christian nodded, still shocked and frightened about the results of his blackout from the night before. **_

"_**I- I'm not healthy, am I doc?" Christian asked, looking up at his surgeon. **_

"_**Well no, not presently, but you're getting better!" the doctor assured him, "You'll just have to stay here a few more days so we can keep an eye on how you, then we'll give you some crutches until we can fit you for a steel prosthetic." **_

"_**No, I mean…" Christian interrupted the surgeon and made drinking motions with his hands. **_

"_**Oh, that! Well… is blacking out a common happenstance for you?" **_

"_**Uh… yep," Christian responded plainly, "Just something to do every night. But… after this, I don't wanna do it anymore, I mean, I could've died! Should I get help?" **_

"_**Yes, I believe that you should," The doctor surmised, "We have many good rehabilitation facilities in the area, they'd be able to help you." **_

_**Christian nodded. The idea of rehab wasn't the greatest thing ever, but at least he'd be getting help. **_

_**January 15th, Betty Ford Center (therapy session); 2:34 PM **_

"_**Ah, Christian how are you?" Dr. Leinberg, Christian's psychiatrist asked. **_

"_**I'm doing ok, I guess…" Christian muttered, "Not much for me to do around here but get better, though." **_

"_**Yes, but all of your doctors say you're improving very well," The shrink complimented slowly, "And the physical therapist says you're doing very well on your new prosthetic leg, too!" **_

_**Christian couldn't help but roll his eyes. The doctor needn't tell him that, he already knew! He'd only been in rehab about a month and everything was already horribly routine. This therapy stuff was just some new crap that his doctors were springing on him that he didn't think he needed. **_

"_**Ok, let's get down to business, hmm?" Dr. Leinberg said, "I'm going to ask you some questions about yourself. You know, your life, your family, your band…" **_

_**Christian noticed that the headshrinker put extra emphasis on the word 'band' but he supposed he had every reason to. **_

"_**And by doing this," Leinberg continued, "We're going to try and figure out what drove you to drink and then try to overcome it, ok?" **_

_**The un-enthused Ontarian nodded in agreement. This would take a while… **_

"_**Tell me about your family, Christian," The doctor began, "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" **_

"_**Yeah, I've got an older brother, Craig," Christian answered, "He's in a band, too." **_

_**The shrink nodded and scrawled some notes into a yellow notepad. **_

"_**Ok, good. Now, what were your parents like?" **_

_**Christian smirked, "You watch The Simpsons?" **_

_**Leinberg nodded, "Yes, from time to time." **_

"_**Ok, picture Ned and Maude Flanders. That's almost exactly what they were like," Christian explained, "Very religious, extremely nice. Me and Craig, though, we were more like Bart Simpson." **_

_**Leinberg wrote as he spoke, "Oh, so you were troublemakers?" **_

"_**Damn straight!" Christian said, "We did everything they hated: acted up in church, swore, listened to heavy metal, heh, we even went Gothic in high school. Y'know, dyed our hair black, wore nothing but black and grey, pentagram necklaces. We partied hard, too. But y'know what they say, the preacher's kids are always the wildest!" **_

"_**And your parents put up with this?" **_

"_**For a time, yes," Christian recalled, "They finally exploded when me and Craig formed this Gothic thrash-metal band called Iron Fist –he's still in that band, by the way. I think they're playing Ozzfest this year. - And poured all of our time into that. Our grades just dropped." **_

"_**So what did they do?" **_

"_**They kicked us both out of the house at different times, first Craig, then me about five months later." Christian said, "So I found this dinky apartment and lived there, getting money by doing various gigs with Iron Fist." **_

"_**Whoa, wait," Leinberg sputtered, "They kicked you out of the house?" **_

_**Christian nodded. "Yeah, why?" **_

_**Dr. Leinberg didn't respond, but instead wrote rapidly in his notepad for several minutes. **_

"_**Uh… doc?" Christian said, waving his hand in front of the psychiatrist's face, "You there?" **_

_**The doctor smiled, "Yes Christian, and I believe we've made our first breakthrough!" **_

_**--------------------------------------------------------- **_

Christian parked his infamous black pickup in the airport's parking garage. He then raced to the trunk and grabbed his bags and suitcases and walked as fast as he could through the Toronto National Airport. He'd been waiting four long years for this day, and he wanted it to start now! Therefore, he continued to scramble throughout the airport, and after several "quick and required" baggage checks (it took him forever to convince the guards that it was the zipper on his pants that was causing the metal detector to go off and that his bass wasn't a gun) he finally made it to the correct terminal for his non-stop flight to San Francisco. Ok, so it was only going to be a six-hour flight, but still!

"_Attention travelers, flight 17A, nonstop to San Francisco is now boarding, please line up in an orderly fashion at the door." _A female voice wheezed over the loudspeakers.

"Finally!" Christian yelped, springing out of his chair and grabbing his bags.

He stopped for a moment and chuckled. "Heh, I sounded like Eddy there for a second!"

After a few minute's wait in line, Eddy finally boarded the huge jetliner. After taking his seat and getting acquainted with the businessman sitting next to him, the plane began to take off. As the plane ascended higher and higher into the sky, Christian stared excitedly out his window, looking at the clouds.

'I'm comin' boys!' Christian thought to himself.

"Daddy, where are we going?" Shamus inquired from the backseat of the car.

"We're going to the airport so we can ride in an airplane to California!" Ed explained.

"Daddy, why do we have to go to California?" Shamus asked.

"So Daddy can record another CD with his band, Shamus." Ed informed, "Don't worry little buddy, I'm sure you and Mommy'll have lots of fun while Daddy and his friends are working!"

"Ok!" the boy chirped.

Once Shamus was content with where they were going and what they were doing, Ed drove as fast as he could to the airport. He couldn't wait to see Double D again and actually _see_ Christian for the first time in four years. The recording would be relatively easy, too, since they had already recorded the gist of a song once Double D got out of rehab, not to mention the two songs they had previously recorded with ol' "Heavy Metal" Hank. That was two…. Three songs already! They just had to make about nine more, think of an album title, and that was it.

'Nine songs? Oh pshaw, that's nothing! Christian could write that many in his sleep!' The guitarist thought to himself reassuringly.

As the O'Hare family pulled into the airport parking garage, Ed's car phone rang.

"Hullo?" Ed said.

"Hey Mullet, it's Eddy. You on yer plane yet?" the drummer questioned.

"Nope, not yet, Eddy. We're on our way though!" Ed replied.

"Oh, ok. I'll wait for ya at the airport, then. Double D and Jason are going to meet you, Christian, and me over there to give us a ride. See ya, Ed!"

"Later Eddy!" Ed concluded.

Ed hung up the phone and led his family through the airport towards their flight. The oafish guitarist was ready to burst with excitement as he boarded the plane and strapped himself in. Not only was he going to get back together with his band mates outside of Eddy, but this was the first plane ride he'd been on in four years, too!

"_Attention, passengers, this is your pilot. We're clear for take off, we will arrive at San Francisco, California at approximately 5:30, buckle your seatbelts and enjoy your flight…" _

A/N: Ah, it's good to be back in my long chapter groove! Ok, so this chapter was only about eight pages, but hey, it was longer than the other chapters, and they're only gonna get longer! Well anyway, please excuse my delay in putting this up. My birthday was on the 13th, so I took the day off to celebrate, and then I scrambled around town trying to find some place that would hire me for the summer (still unsuccessful). So uh… _voila. _Read and review!


	5. Band Reunited

Disclaimer: You guys know that I own absolutely nothing but Christian, Pierre (who will make an appearance sometime, don't worry), the guys in Iron Fist, and my first story Edtallica I suppose, right? Good.

Hey look, 'tis time for me to respond to my reviewers, yes 'tis!

_Eddismybibaby: Thanks for your review! Yeah, I know, my brother also thought it was weird that I made Christian get something chopped off, but don't worry, he'll soldier on and remain his friendly, somewhat slaphappy self. Oh yeah, sorry about that "i" instead of a "y" thing, that was a typo. _

_Double Z: Thanks for the review, it means a lot. You're story's getting good, too keep plugging away at that! _

_Quill in Hand: Thanks for reviewing and yes, there will be "Double D goodness" in this chapter. Oh yeah, happy (by the time this gets up, belated) birthday by the way! _

_Mind of Sorrow: Thanks for yet another short but sweet review, I hope you keep reading. _

_Lil' Freak 3 of 2008: Whoa, you're back! I thought you were like, dead or something! Thanks for reading. Really? My stories should be made into movies? Heh, that would be a trip… _

Are those all the reviews I got for chapter 4? Ok awesome, let's get rockin' then!

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Chapter 5: Band Reunited

**_August 30th, 2005; Indianapolis Hospital: 3:27 PM _**

"_**Hello, sign in here, please." The hospital's secretary said softly. **_

_**Eddward McAllister smiled and nodded, writing his name with a shaky hand. He didn't know why he was shaking; he was simply visiting his mother whom he hadn't seen since she left for a business trip two months ago before getting in a plane crash. He sighed; it was odd how someone as smart as his teachers declared him to be could be so foolish at times. He knew perfectly well why he was shaking. The guitarist was afraid of what he might see when he entered that hospital room. **_

_**He put on a slight smile as he put down the pen, hopelessly trying to hide his crippling nervousness. **_

"_**Thank you. Enjoy your visit, sir." The secretary droned. **_

'_**Enjoy your visit, sir'… what was she talking about? This is a hospital, not some kind of fucking zoo!' Double D thought to himself, allowing himself to slouch and stick his hands in his pockets as he walked. After a short trip, he found room 21B, which had "Holly McAllister" on a piece of paper taped to the room marker. The longhaired guitar player took a deep breath before knocking lightly and entering. As he walked into the bleak, dark room (only made darker by the excessive amounts of flower arrangements covering the window), his uncle greeted him. **_

"_**Eddward? Is that you?" his Uncle Ralph greeted, standing up from his chair, "I can barely see you through all that hair there, Cousin Itt!" **_

_**Edd put on a small grin and moved his long black hair behind his ears while he shook hands with his somewhat annoying uncle. Uncle Ralph began to say something else, but the guitar player cut him off. **_

"_**How is she?" Double D questioned. **_

_**Uncle Ralph looked down at his loafers and wiped some sweat off his brow as Eddward looked over at the hospital bed. There he saw what was supposedly his mother, breathing slowly with tubes up her nose that were connected to an oxygen machine. He glared at his uncle. **_

"_**I thought you said she was improving!" Eddward hissed angrily. **_

"_**She was, buddy," Uncle Ralph stammered, "She just had a mild seizure last night for some reason, so the doctors hooked her up to that machine over there. But don't worry she can still talk with you, honest!" **_

_**The balding man leaned over the bed and gingerly shook his sister awake. **_

"_**Holly?…. Holly? Wake up." **_

"_**Hmm…?" **_

"_**Eddward's here, Holly." Ralph said quietly. **_

_**Holly let out an excited gasp before turning towards her son. **_

"_**Eddward? Hi honey!" his mom wheezed. **_

"_**Hey mom!" Double D responded, trying to stay positive. **_

"_**What've you been up to?" Holly asked. **_

"_**Oh, Ed, Eddy, our new band mate Christian and I won a band contest in Toronto the other day!" Eddward explained. **_

_**His mother smiled. "Wow, really? That's great, sweetie." **_

_**The guitarist nodded. "Yeah, and Chophouse Records offered us a record deal." **_

_**Eddward looked at his mom again. She didn't say anything, but put on a weak smile. **_

"_**We're supposed to start recording in a week or so," Edd continued, "But if you need me to stay here, the guys are completely ok with postponing the recording to another time…" **_

_**Eddward gulped. His music career was riding on these next few minutes. Sure, they could wait for a few months, but they were still riding high off their extremely lucky victory at Mosh, and in a few months they might not have the same spark. **_

_**Holly gingerly took hold of her son's hand. "No, it's ok. I'll be fine, you go record with Ed, Eddy and your new friend um… was it Craig?" **_

"_**Christian, mom." Double D answered, a small smile beginning to form, "You sure you're cool with this? I mean, after all, we're recording the album in San Francisco, and we'll be in the studio about 6 months or so. Then after the album comes out, we have to go on tour all over the country for 8 more months to promote it!" **_

_**His mom coughed and slowly nodded again. "Yes, I'll be fine. I've got your uncles and plenty of other people to keep an eye on me here. Besides, this is the big chance that you Ed, and Eddy have been waiting for years to get, I don't want to ruin that…" **_

"_**Ok, thanks mom," Double said, kissing his mother on the cheek, "I'll call up to see how you're doing whenever I can, I promise!" **_

_**------------------------------------------------------- **_

_**September 17, 2007: Echo Brain/Edtallica dressing room, Los Angeles CA; 11:45 PM **_

_**Double D mopped the sweat off of his face as his band mates and their friends and fellow rookies, Echo Brain, celebrated another successful gig. **_

"_**Man, those L.A. crowds are somethin' else, huh?" Eddy asked his gang of friends slyly. **_

"_**Ah, c'mon Eddy, you're just all high n' mighty 'cause the security guys had to hold some girls back when we were taking our last bow!" Christian laughed, taking a swig of beer, "That was relatively awesome, though. Shows ya you're getting kinda famous, eh?" **_

"_**Yeah Eddy," Ed retorted, "They were probably just drunk and horny or something! Besides, don't you have a girlfriend back home?" **_

_**Eddy opened his mouth to reply with a witty comeback, but before he could, the phone rang. **_

_**Dylan Donkin, the guitar player and lead singer of Echo Brain, picked up the phone. **_

"_**Yeah? You want Double D, dude? Yeah, yeah he's here, hold on a sec…" Dylan cupped his hand over the mouthpiece, "It's for you, dude." **_

_**Eddward cast his damp towel into the bin and took the phone from his fellow guitarist. He stepped out of the dressing room to get away from the mindless chatter. **_

"_**Hello?" **_

"_**Yes, is this Eddward McAllister?" **_

"_**Last time I checked." Eddward quipped, riding high off the rock star ego that he and his friends all shared. **_

"…_**Ok well, this is Doctor Grayson over here at Indiana General Hospital, I have some… news about your mother." **_

_**The guitarist blinked. "You do? What is it?" **_

_**There was a brief pause before Grayson answered, "I hate to be the one to tell you this, son, but your mother… died recently on the operating table." **_

"_**What? What operation was she getting?" Double D questioned. **_

"_**It was for a complete hip replacement that she may have benefited from if it were successful… I'm sorry." **_

"_**Fuck you…" Edd muttered coldly into the receiver, hanging up. **_

_**He went back into the dressing room, grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels' and a coke out of the cooler, and then slumped into a folding chair. He took a few swigs of the mixture, and then let out a low, sad moan. **_

"_**Hey, Double D, are you ok?" Ed asked patting his chum on the back heartily. **_

"_**My mom's dead, man…" Double D sobbed, taking another swig. **_

_**---------------------------------------------------------------- **_

**_January 12th, 2008: Betty Ford Clinic (end of final therapy session); 2:15 PM _**

"_**So, I'm drinking because I have trouble letting go?" Double D asked Dr. Leinberg, the psychiatrist that Christian told him to ask for. **_

_**Dr. Leinberg nodded. "I believe that's the case, yes. It seems to me that that's been the running theme in all of your drinking binges thus far. In your first, you drank because you didn't want to accept that you essentially had no childhood. In the next, you didn't want to believe that your girlfriend of three years would dump you so early, so you retreated to the bottle. It also applied for when your mother died." **_

_**Eddward nodded. "It all makes sense now… Well, thanks for putting up with me, Doctor Leinberg." **_

"_**Oh, it's been no trouble Eddward, it's my job," Leinberg chuckled, shaking hands with the guitarist, "You were actually much easier to figure out than Christian, believe it or not. We had to dig extremely deep to figure out his issues!" **_

"_**Whoa, really?" Double D asked. He was surprised to know that his happy-go-lucky friend had issues. **_

"_**Oh yeah," Doctor Leinberg chuckled, "It took us two months, but we figured out that his constant drinking was connected to a very deep-seeded problem involving a girl he liked in high school. It turned out that his drinking and the way he dressed was just to get attention!" **_

_**Double D chuckled lightly before bidding the doctor goodbye once again. **_

----------------------------------------------

**_March 21st, 2008, Double D's homestead: 3:15 _**

_**Double D trudged into his room and threw his guitar onto its stand and sat on his bed. He rubbed his eyes and slowly dragged his hands through his hair. He'd just been let out of rehab a few months ago, and he'd just spent nearly all day in the studio trying as hard as they could to record demos for their new album, but they all seemed somewhat distracted: **_

"_**Guys, I don't think this is working right now…" Jason said, "I think it's a little too early to be recording now, maybe you should all take a good long break until Christian and Double D can fully recover from rehab." **_

"_**Yeah guys, maybe we should just hang out a while, y'know? Just 'til we get our shit together." Christian suggested. **_

_**The rest of them silently agreed, grabbing their guitars and bidding each other farewell before driving away from Chophouse Records. **_

_**Double D walked into his bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He hadn't slept properly in weeks, so his eyes had dark circles under them. He moved his hair out of his face with a sigh to get a better look at himself. People always told him about how much he looked like his mother, and they were right. They had the same eyes, facial structure, and…hair. **_

_**He ran his fingers through his black hair, which had since grown about halfway down his back. He was always somewhat fond of his hair, it gave him a distinctive look in the band, and it looked awesome when he banged his head onstage. His mother was the one who convinced his father to allow him to grow his hair out and constantly complimented him on how nice it looked. **_

'_**Dr. Leinberg said I had to let go…' Double D thought, 'I suppose this applies as something I should let go of.' **_

_**He pulled a drawer open and pulled out his electric razor and turned it on. The guitarist was a little skeptical at first, but decided it was for the best. After all, it wasn't like he was getting a tattoo, it was only hair, and hair could grow back. He swallowed and brought the razor up to his head. A scratchy sound rang through the room as Eddward sheared his long locks, which were falling at his feet in large clumps. **_

_**After half an hour of shearing his head, the guitar player looked at himself in the mirror. His head was now only covered with a short layer of black fuzz, but at least he didn't have to move his hair behind his ears to see his face. He stood there staring at himself for a time, then smiled, knowing that he had finally let go of something close to him, even if it was only going to be temporary. **_

_**--------------------------------------------------**_

Double D stood beside Jason Newsted at the baggage claim in the San Francisco airport, the constant whirring of the machine and the loud thumping of various baggages falling onto the carousel sounding off behind them. Even though it was against his nature, the now shorthaired guitarist felt like he would go insane with boredom.

"So…" Edd piped up, turning to his trusted producer, "They should be here soon, huh?"

Jason nodded and checked his watch. "Yeah man, they should be out any minute…"

Another long, awkward-as-a-first-date (I assume) minute of silence later, Jason spoke again.

"So, how was Ed's wedding reception?" he asked.

"Oh, it was cool," Double D replied, "Ed's just the same as ever, and Eddy got a bit drunk and started pounding out drum parts from ' Mental cases, much to the dismay of some of the guests!"

Jason smiled. "Well, at least he's been practicing. That'll make recording run even smoother, huh?"

"_Attention, travelers," _a voice rang in over the PA system, "_Flight 14A from Detroit has landed and passengers are exiting at terminal two, thank you." _

The two rockers walked briskly towards the signs that read terminal two, where they meshed themselves in with the small crowd of people who were also waiting for the passengers to arrive. After waiting a few minutes, a familiar mulleted figure emerged with his wife and son following closely behind him.

"Ed, over here!" Jason called.

Ed looked up and jogged up to his friends.

"Double D! Jason!" Ed exclaimed, grappling the latter in one of his bear hugs and high-fiving Eddward.

"Hey Ed! How've you been?" Jason greeted, clutching his spine.

"Oh, I've been doing pretty good, I got married the other day!" Ed proclaimed.

Jason nodded. "Yeah, Double D told me about that, congratulations, my man!"

"Daddy, how much longer do we have to stay here?" Shamus butted in, tugging on Ed's jeans.

"Just until Mr. Eddy and Daddy's other friend Christian get here, buddy," Ed answered, giving his son a gentle noogie, "Oh, can you say 'hi' to Double D and Mr. Jason?"

The boy looked up at Double D and Jason, waving sheepishly before chirping "Hi, my name's Shamus!"

Jason waved and gave the mini version of Ed a salutation.

"Dude, Ed, you named your kid Shamus?" Jason chuckled, "How stereotypically of Irish descent are you?"

"Pretty darn!" Ed exclaimed, "But seriously, it's from Eileen's side."

After greeting Eileen and catching up for awhile, Christian and Eddy's flights finally arrived. The band greeted each other warmly, high-fiving and hugging. For the first time in over four years, they were a band again.

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Belgie: Ah, finally, another chapter finished! Boy, will my readers be appeased!

Steve (Belgie's British muse): That's it? Seven and a half pages? Oh well, at least there aren't enough bloody typos and grammatical errors to make an English teacher cry!

Belgie: Yeah, I'm good!

Steve: (groans) Just get to your author's note and make up an excuse as to why it took you so long to get this chapter up!

Belgie: _Fine, _I will! …jerk.

A/N: Well, there's chapter 5! Sorry it took so long, I've been busy with driver's ed and stuff. Ok, seriously, I'll be kicking out over 10 pages per chapter eventually, I know I will! Oh yeah, sorry about the random argument I typed that was against my muse (which I made British and named "Steve" for some reason…) I was just really bored! Well, you know the drill, read and review while I work on the next chapter!


	6. Back To the Ol' Grind

Disclaimer: Uh… I think you guys all know by now what I own and what I don't own, right? Good… Oh wait; the lyrics from the songs "Deadeye" and "Right Back At Ya" are mine, though!

Well uh… this'd _normally_ be where I'd respond to my reviewers, but since there's some kinda fucked up rule against that now, I'll just say "thanks, guys" and move on.

Chapter 6: Back to the Ol' Grind

_**September 3, 2005; Chophouse Records: 5:19 PM **_

"_**Whoa, wait a sec guys." Jason requested. **_

"_**What is it?" Christian asked from his booth, taking a brief chug of beer. **_

"_**Uh, Christian, do ya think you could maybe sing a little lower on that last part?" Jason asked. **_

"_**Uh… I don't think I can go any lower than what I'm doing now." Christian quaffed. **_

"_**Na, I bet you could," Jason said, "Let's just try it to see how you sound, ok?" **_

"_**Fine…" Christian muttered. **_

_**They had been in the studio about seven hours that day and about three weeks altogether. They managed to get their cover of Blue Öyster Cult's "The Red and The Black" done in a day, but since then they'd been having some trouble recording "Deadeye". Yesterday, the problem was with a fill that Eddy was having trouble getting, the day before it was a trill that Ed kept missing during Edd's first solo. Today, though, the problem was with Christian's voice. **_

"_**Wait, Jason, why do you want me to go lower?" The Canadian questioned, "That's how I've sung that part during gigs!" **_

"_**Yeah I know, dude," The producer explained, "But I think that since this song's kinda threatening, you should sing like you're trying to be threatening, you get what I'm saying?" **_

"_**Yeah, I guess," Christian grumbled, "But I thought I was sounding pretty spooky already, there." **_

"_**You were a little bit, but I wasn't really feeling afraid of you," The veteran rocker said, "You were singing so high that it was more annoying than menacing." **_

_**Christian nodded. "Ok, I'll try to go lower, then." **_

_**Jason gave the band a quick reassuring metal salute before pressing the "record" button on his soundboard. Christian took a deep breath before belting out the final chorus and verse of the song along with his band mates:  
**_

_**They call me Deadeye…(Deadeye)  
My aim is straight and true  
Yeah, Deadeye…(Deadeye)  
And my gun is aimed at you… **_

_**Don't put up a struggle, baby  
No, don't you try and fight  
'Cause when I'm around, you drop down  
Yeah, I've got you in my sights…. **_

_**From there, they dove into the bridge, where they inserted the sound effect of a woman's scream. This meant that Christian simply had one more line to yell: **_

_**BANG! **_

_**They rolled the sound effect once more as Edd zipped into another minute-long solo, wrapping up the song. **_

"_**And…. we're clear!" Jason proclaimed from behind the soundboard. **_

_**A raucous chorus of "Woo-hoo"s and "About fucking time"s rang erupted from the Eds and their Canadian friend after Jason spoke. **_

"_**So… you guys wanna hear it?" Jason asked, a grin on his face. **_

_**Edtallica nodded aggressively, so their producer pressed one of the many buttons and pushed a few switches. As the thrash song about an ominous womanizer seeped through the speakers, the "metal Eds'" jaws dropped. **_

"_**Whoa… was that us?" Ed breathed. **_

"_**Sure was, Ed," Newsted replied, "See? I told you guys it'd sound good!" **_

_**A few more seconds of silence went through the studio as the band members began to put on huge grins. **_

"_**Well, that song's a bit risqué, but I think we may have a hit with that one," Jason continued, "but other than that, I think you guys've got it! **_

_**-------------------------------- **_

"Hey Eddy, why don't you give me a beat, dude?" Christian requested as he strapped his ESP bass over his shoulders.

"Can do," Eddy replied simply as he took the helm of his drum kit, "Like uh… what kinda beat do you want, fast or-"

"Fast is good." Christian said.

Eddy nodded and began to pound out a beat.

A day had passed since the "mental cases" reunited, and they wasted no time in putting their guitars to the grindstone, so to speak. Since they already had a few songs pre-recorded, this meant that the band would only have to write seven songs to make a decently lengthed recording. They had been in the studio for about half an hour, and already the dry-erase board hung that was hung on the wall was smothered with various suggestions for album titles, song names, and even the occasional "Welcome back" from the sound crew.

Even though half an hour had passed, Eddy and Christian were, oddly enough, the only ones

As Eddy began to get a solid idea for his beat, Christian searched around his low-tuned instrument for a good bass line. The Canadian chortled softly to himself after a few minutes of plucking random notes. Eddy noticed his friend's problem and stopped playing.

"You ok, man?" Eddy inquired.

"Heh, yeah I'm cool," Christian replied, "It's going to be hard not to sound old saying this, but due to lack of practice I can't find bass lines as easy as I could back in the 'good ol' days'!"

"Don't worry about it, for " 'Mental Cases" we had all of our songs done before we got into the studio," Eddy chuckled, "Now c'mon grandpa, let's keep going!"

Christian put on a smug smirk before Eddy counted himself back into his beat. After fifteen minutes, he managed to find a pretty good line that seemed to fit his band mate's beat pretty well.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late!" Eddward greeted, slipping a black telecaster over his shoulders.

The guitarist plugged in his guitar to a nearby Marshall amp and quickly low tuned it.

"No problem, Double D," Eddy said, "Wait, where's Ed?"

"Uh… he called me while I was driving over here, he said he'd be here as soon as he got Eileen and Shamus taken care of." Eddward answered, "So… was that a new song?"

The three present band members began to work on adding a guitar part to the new song, when Ed barged in with his guitar in hand.

"Aaah!" Ed yelped, "I'm _so _late! Ohmanohmanohman!"

"Geez Ed, relax," Christian said as he watched his friend attempt to low tune his guitar and plug in his various pedals at the same time, "We've barely even got our first riff done!"

"Oh… ok!" Ed exclaimed, "So, what've we got so far?"

They continued to torque the riff that Eddy and Christian started for a few more hours before they got a solid idea hammered out. From there, Christian began to brainstorm ideas for some lyrics. After several frustrated groans and frantically crossing out various lines, the Canadian began to look to his fellow band mates for help.

"I think I'm just having trouble coming up with basic ideas," Christian said, "So uh… you guys wanna help?"

"Hmm…" Ed verbally pondered, "We could make it a 'return' song, y'know like AC/DC did with _Back in Black _or Def Leppard did with _Back in Your Face!" _

"I don't know," Double D interrupted, "That seems somewhat cheesy, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, but so was _Labat Blues_, and it was one of the hit singles off of '_Mental Cases_!" Eddy retorted.

"Then it's settled!" Christian concluded, picking up his pen and scribbling down some lines.

With a few suggestions from his band mates (who were surprised and excited that Christian was letting them help with lyrics for once), the bassist managed to put out some decent lyrics for a song that they titled _Right Back At Ya_:

_Can't turn back time to take what's mine  
But I'll do the next best thing  
I'll play my guitar fast  
Shove some heavy metal up your ass _

'_Cause I've gotta make up for lost time  
_

_Right back at ya (Ba-ack)  
I'm back where I belong  
Right back at ya (Ba-ack)  
I'm back and fighting strong _

_It's been too long, so I've come back  
Time to settle the score  
Gonna play faster, gonna play louder  
Than I ever have before _

Right back at ya (Ba-ack)  
I'm back where I belong  
Right back at ya (Ba-ack)  
I'm back and fighting strong

_(Solo)  
_

_Repeat Chorus  
_

_(Bridge) Spoken(?):_

_Metal will never die  
And neither will I  
As long as blood pumps through my veins  
I'll never drop the reins, never pass the torch!  
_

_(chorus) _

After proofreading the lyrics one last time, the band decided to record a quick demo tape of the track with Jason, who thought the song would be a fun first song for the new album. They recorded the track in under twenty minutes, and the demo-tape reflected it.

"Uh… It's good, but I we've definitely got to work with it a little more when we go for the album recording." Jason said.

"Yeah, I think that if we altered the bridge a little it would probably sound a little more uh… professional, y'know?" Christian added.

"That's true, but it's a good start though, right?" Eddy questioned, "I mean, it's the first demo we've done in years, not to mention the very first song that we _all_ contributed lyrics for."

The five rockers continued to trade ideas for a few more hours when Ed brought an obvious thought to their attention.

"Hey guys, y'know what?"' Ed said, "We need to get Jimmy down here to draw stuff and take pictures!"

"Whoa, good point there, Mullet," Eddy said, grabbing his cell phone, "Let's see if I can get a hold of him."

Eddy quickly punched in Jimmy's cell number and waited.

"C'mon kid, pick up…"

A/N: Ah, finally! I've gotten around to making another chapter. Sorry about the horribly long wait, but I've had a whole bunch of shit on my plate over the past month. Like I had to finish driver's ed, go on two family road trips, do in-car sessions, and battle a severe case of writer's block. But my muse helped me through it (and by help I mean cuss me out until I did stuff). Oh, I have an original story put up on under the pen name Sikki Nixx called "Big Hair and Bad Attitude: The Vinni Vulcan Story", which is about a guy who tries to revive hair metal. You can give it a look after you've finished reading and reviewing for this chapter if you want. _  
_


	7. Enter James

Disclaimer: You guys know that I don't own a frickin' thing but Christian and other original stuff. Then of course you also know that all the events I made up (i.e. the anti-pop music thing I make, you'll see!) are totally made up (thank Dio!). Good, then let's get rockin'!

Chapter 7: Enter "James"

"C'mon kid, pick up…" Eddy muttered as the line continued to ring.

"Is ol' Jimbo there, Eddy?" Ed whispered loudly to his lifelong chum.

"Mullet, shut up!" the drummer hissed, giving Ed a light kick in the shin.

The phone rang a few more times before the voicemail message picked up.

"Hey, this is James, sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but leave a message and I'll try to get back to you, bye!"

After a light "beep" sounded, the drummer rolled his eyes and left a message.

"You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me… hey _James_ it's Eddy, been awhile, huh? Uh… in case you haven't heard, me n' the boys are making a new album, and we want our photo-jockey/t-shirt dude back. So uh… we'll try to get ya some tickets out to California. Call me back, little dude!"

"Not there, huh?" Eddward asked.

Eddy shook his head and began talking in a mock-snooty tone. "Nope, not yet anyway. Fret not, gents, I'm sure _James_ had a good reason not to pick up, perchance he just didn't hear his cell ringing!"

"The hell're you talking about, Eddy?" Christian guffawed.

"Looks like our little dude's all grown up," Eddy laughed, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye, "'cause he ain't Jimmy anymore, now he'd rather be known as _James!" _

"Ha ha ha, really?" Ed chortled.

"Ah man, our little dude's going by James…" Christian smirked, "There's something I never saw coming! It's right up there with Ashlee Simpson and Ryan Cabrera getting remarried and making that god-awful sex tape!...not that I watched it or anything…"

Eddy slugged Christian on the arm before looking over to his timid friend. "Feel free to jump in at any time, Double D, this stuff's primo joke fodder!"

The guitarist shrugged, a smile creeping across his face.

"I just think it's kinda funny that we still call Jimmy 'little dude'," The short-haired guitar player noted, "I mean, he's what, 19 now?"

"Yeah… so?" Eddy retorted.

"_So_ the last time we saw him was at the party you threw the night before we left to record _'Mental Cases_, and he was just starting high school then. That means he's in like, college now…"

-----------------------------------------------------

"Jimmy, you came!"

The artist formerly known as Jimmy put on a polite smile as he gave his long lost childhood friend a hug.

"Uh… yeah, of course I did, Sarah, you bought my ticket and ate up most of my cell minutes reminding me to come." Jimmy stated, pulling away from the hug.

"Oh, don't be silly," Ed's little sister giggled, "Well anyway, did you like the show?"

Jimmy nodded, bracing himself for the rushing tide of babbling that he had undoubtedly unleashed by simply moving his head.

As Sarah prattled off something about how long she had to practice her lines, Jimmy ran his hands through his now much longer dirty-blonde hair and pretended to listen.

The metal-headed Monet had just completed his freshman year at Peach Creek Institute of the Arts, where he took a bunch of drawing courses. He managed to pay off his part of the tuition with the relatively small amount of money he was given for taking pictures and designing t-shirts for Edtallica. Since he hadn't had anything to do with Edtallica in the past four years, Jimmy kept himself busy by sketching posters for his high school and college drama clubs along with taking portraits down at a photo studio at the local mall.

Even though he was doing what he enjoyed, Jimmy (or James as he now liked to be called) would still find himself being incredibly bored with the various projects he was assigned. Sure, taking pictures of families and sketching designs and writing styles for drama shows was nice, but that didn't compare with taking photos of the Eds and Christian and designing different drawings of Winslow that the world could see.

"…so I got over my nerves and did pretty good, don't you think, Jimmy?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, you were cool." James muttered, even though he could swear on Bon Scott's grave that the bubbly redhead missed at least three of her lines.

"Uh… so how's Ed doing?" James asked, even though he'd probably face his friend's wrath for putting the verbal spotlight on her brother instead of her.

"Oh! Ed's fine, I was just at his wedding a few weeks ago. 'Bout freaking time if you ask me! I mean, Ed _did_ propose to poor Eileen after he knocked her up four years ago while he was touring with his stupid band!" The sinister sister sniped.

"Ahem!" James shot back, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh come _on_ Jimmy!" Sarah groaned, "Why do you always defend them? The Eds and Chris-or whatever his name is- are just a bunch of head banging drunks that threw together a CD!"

"What, so you'd like 'em better if they grew tits and banged Ryan Cabrera?" Jimmy snapped, clenching a fist slowly.

James's eyebrows furrowed. Normally he had a pretty long fuse, but Sarah had just put a proverbial flamethrower to it. He wouldn't have a problem if she just said she didn't like Edtallica's music, but going out of her way to insult the Eds and Christian based on their past just went too far.

"_What?_ No, Jimmy, I'm just saying that you're too normal to associate yourself with those freaks!" The lousy actress squealed, "I mean, Double D and that Canadian are alcoholics for God's sake. They had to go to rehab! And did you hear what that _stupid_ Eddy did with Double D's e-"

"Stow it, Sarah!" James commanded, "That all happened four fucking _years_ ago, they're over that now!"

Sarah opened her mouth to retort, but he cut her off.

"It's been nice chatting with you, but if you'll excuse me, I promised Cindy I'd meet up with her after the show, which ended half an hour ago." James concluded.

He walked out of the auditorium towards his trusty old '05 Cadillac coupe that Edtallica bought him as a personal "thanks" for his efforts.

"Aw man, Cindy's gonna kill me…" James muttered as he caught sight of the clock.

He quickly revved the engine and sped off towards the restaurant where he was supposed to go to half an hour before.

------------------------------------------------------

"Ok guys, I think that's enough work for today," Jason said from behind his glass screen, "Let's pack it in, shall we?"

A brief flutter of various sighs of relief went through the air as the band packed up their guitars for the day.

"Nice job today there, boys!" Christian exclaimed.

"Yeah, I think we're starting to get our groove back!" Eddy exclaimed, twirling his drumsticks excitedly.

"Me too!" Ed agreed, checking his watch, "Well I've got to go meet up with Eileen and the little guy for dinner, see ya tomorrow, guys!"

As Ed went out the door of the studio, he added:

"Oh, tell me if ol' Jimbo ever calls ya back, Eddy!"

"Alright Mullet," Eddy nodded, heading for the exit himself, "Later dudes!"

The drummer whipped out his cell phone and checked his voicemail. After the monotone voice reminded him that he had zero messages, he hung up quickly.

"Geez! What the green hell is _James_ doing?"

--------------------------------

"…so then Sarah starts going out of her way to insult Edtallica!" Jimmy seethed, stabbing his steak murderously (pretending it was in Sarah's back), "She called 'em 'head banging drunks' and 'freaks' and stuff."

"Whoa, seriously?" Cindy sneered, "What a _bitch_…I still don't get why you hang out with her, James."

"Neither do I," James confessed, "She was cool 'til I started hanging out with the Eds and Christian a lot, grew my hair and started dating you back in high school."

Cindy snickered.

"Aw… she probably likes you, Jimmy!" She cooed jokingly.

"What?"

"I mean, think about it," the metal chick explained, "She was apparently _nice _to you until you started hanging out with the guys all the time, meaning you weren't with her. Then she started getting bitchy after we started dating, meaning she didn't have a chance with you anymore!"

"Well actually, she was kinda bitchy a couple years before that, but other than that, you've got a point there!" The artist figured, stroking his chin.

The couple continued to taunt Ed's sister for a few more hours until the restaurant staff threatened to kick them out. After kissing his girlfriend goodnight, James returned to his Cadillac to drive back to his apartment in a huge complex called "Motherly Arms Apartments". He unlocked the door to apartment 66 and entered his home.

It wasn't much, just a living room/kitchen, tiny bathroom, and a fair-sized bedroom, but he always found himself scrambling to pay the rent at the end of the month. The plain, white walls were adorned with various paintings he made as well as a signed tour shirt Edtallica had signed and shipped to him (while intoxicated). This was evident in the phrases they scribbled with a silver sharpie all over the garment; the most noticeable was, of course, Christian's:

"To Litel Dood- See ya on tour, eh? How many pounds dos this camera add?

He had the shirt framed along with the cover of _Revolver_ magazine that they ended up on, with the headline which read: _Edtallica, Eh? - A new crew from North of the Border brings "real metal" back to the mainstream…" _

James slumped down in his uncomfortable couch (courtesy of Christian from his old apartment) and chuckled as he remembered the interview where the guys made fun of nearly every band from Coldplay to Yellow Card relentlessly. He switched on his cell, noticing the "new message" screen pop up instantaneously.

"_You have one new message from Wednesday, June 20th, 3:15 PM…" _

The youth rolled his eyes. It was probably his parents calling the check on him for the millionth time that month…

"_Oh, you've gotta be fuckin' kidding me… hey _James_ it's Eddy, been a while, huh? Uh… in case you haven't heard, me n' the boys are making a new album, and we want our photo-jockey/t-shirt dude back. So uh… we'll try to get you some tickets out to California. Call me back, little dude!" _

James' eyes grew wide as the message ended.

"It's about fucking time!" Jimmy belted, pushing the callback button aggressively.

He listened to the other line ring, drumming his fingers impatiently.

"C'mon Eddy, pick up…"

"Yeah?"

"'Sup Eddy, it's me!" Jimmy greeted.

"Oh, hey _James_! So what do ya say, you up for another session?"

"You bet I am! I've been waiting for this for four years, dude!" the artist replied.

"Awesome Jim, we'll try to overnight you a few tickets out here as soon as we can, ok?"

"Alright, I'll see you guys then, see ya!"

"Later!"

After finishing the call, Jimmy quickly called his girlfriend.

"Cindy, get ready to pack your bags, I'm going to San Francisco and I'm taking you with me."

Ah, that felt good. Once again, I apologize for my lateness. I've had lots of rehearsals for the fall show for my school drama club (Yeah, I got a part, woo-hoo!) and I threw my back out washing cars at a drama club carwash to raise up money. Well, at least they can't say I'm not suffering for my art… Well anyway, sorry if it was boring, but wait'll you see what I've got planned for the next installment...laughs maniacally


	8. Romantic

Disclaimer: Yeah, don't own squat except for Christian, the other Canadians (Iron Fist and Pierre) and any of the Edtallica song lyrics I've put up, like the new one called "Romantic" that I made for this chapter.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 8: Romantic

**_Friday, November 16th, 2006; Detroit, Michigan: 12:15 AM_**

"_**It's right this way." Eddy guided, showing the lady du jour to the hotel room he was splitting with Christian. **_

"_**Ok…" The sultry fan purred, getting a tad closer to the heavily hair-sprayed drummer. **_

**_Eddy fumbled around in the pocket of his two thousand-dollar leather pants drunkenly for the room's cardkey. The band just finished up a show at a local rock club, which was packed to full capacity. Afterward, the fearsome foursome decided to let loose and have a few (dozen) drinks. During the debauchery, Eddy met a girl that he thought was "pretty cute". After an hour or so of him (oddly enough) being hit on, the drunken drummer decided to give her a guided tour of the hotel room. _**

**_After an awkward drunken forage through his left pocket, Eddy finally found the keycard. He quickly jammed it in the slot and opened the door, placing a sock over the door handle. As soon as he closed and locked the door, the groupie immediately pounced. _**

**_A devilish grin slithered across Eddy's face. He liked where this was going! He mechanically peeled off the lady's constricting top, wincing a little bit as she bit his lip. As the two of them began to strip off articles of clothing, Eddy realized something was bothering him. This particular girl seemed familiar… _**

"_**What's yer name, babe?" Eddy slurred drunkenly as he randomly felt her up. **_

"**_Kayleigh…" she moaned. _**

"_**Oh, ok." The drummer shrugged nonchalantly.**_

**_Kayleigh… that name sort of rang a bell, but he couldn't put his finger on it. The oversexed drummer decided it was just his "imagination" and carried on with who he was doing. _**

_**Just as things were getting good for him, Eddy was disrupted by the sound of the door opening. **_

"**_Hey Eddy, why the fuck did ya put a sock on the doorknob?" a familiar voice sloshed, "Nobody wants to see that!" _**

**_If it weren't for what was currently happening, Eddy would've been considerably less panicked. _**

"_**Oh shit!" Eddy hissed, desperately flailing around to search for his pants. **_

"_**Hmm? Eddy, what is it, baby?" the girl whispered from next to him. **_

"_**Christian's-" **_

"_**Oh for the love of- Eddy put on yer pants, man! I DEFINITELY don't want to see that!" Christian yelled, "Put on the 'do not disturb' sign next time!" **_

"_**Sorry, Christian…" Eddy muttered, just beginning to feel the effects of semi-lethal amounts of alcohol he consumed. **_

"_**Don't apologize, just fix it!" Christian proclaimed, cackling drunkenly at his retort.**_

**_Rolling his eyes, Eddy helped Kayleigh find her clothes. He then took her out to the tour bus to "finish petting the kitty" as he so elegantly put it. _**

**_The next morning, when he woke up dazed and hung over, he noticed he was alone. Upon further inspection of his surroundings, he noticed that his precious (and expensive) leather pants, a pair of his drumsticks, and his entire wallet had vanished. _**

"_**Huh?" **_

_**He reached up and pulled a sticky note off his forehead that read: **_

_**Eddy- **_

_**Last night was great! See you next time… **_

_**Kayleigh **_

_**PS: Say "hi" to Double D for me. **_

**_Eddy's jaw dropped as everything came rushing back. Everything made more sense now… _**

'_**B-but that means I just' **_

"_**Oh shit…." **_

_**------------------------------- **_

"Penny for your thoughts, cap'n?" Ed joked, elbowing his friend.

"Huh? Oh, hey Ed," Eddy greeted, "What is it?"

"Just wondering how come you went off La-La Land just now." Ed stated plainly.

"Oh just uh, remembering the good ol' days, Mullet." The drummer replied.

The red-head nodded.

"So when's Jimmy's plane gonna get here?" Christian inquired.

"Don't know. Should be any minute now I'd say." Eddward answered.

"Yeah, it'll be good to see the little dude again," Eddy said, trying to keep his mind off that memory, "Remember that one time before we left for California to record _Mental Case_ when Ed walked in on Jimmy and Cindy playing tonsil hockey in the linen closet?"

"Oh, yeah!" Christian chuckled, "And then he covered his eyes and backed away and broke like, five things!"

"Ha ha ha, yeah!" Ed guffawed, "And remember when we taught him how to mosh and stage dive at that Misfits concert?"

The band's reminiscing was interrupted by an announcement over the airport PA system.

"_Attention. Flight 61-A from Detroit is now unloading at Terminal 2, thank you." _

"It's about time!" Eddy griped, launching out of his chair.

"Yeah, let's go get our long-lost little chum!" Ed exclaimed.

The four band mates walked briskly over to the second terminal of the huge airport. After cutting in front of a few people in the crowd, they began to closely watch the long line that seemingly consisted of tourists and old people. Once the crowd of tackily-dressed tourists died down a bit, the band finally saw some familiar faces.

"JIMMY!" Ed bellowed happily, immediately grabbing the artist in one of his signature hugs.

"Dude, Jimmy it's been years, man," Christian said, giving Jimmy a high five, "How've you been?"

"I've been doing alright," James answered, "I've just been really bored the last four years and it's all your fault!"

"Well _excuse _us for battling personal demons!" Christian joked.

From there, the band helped Jimmy and Cindy grab their bags and took the time to get reacquainted with their "little dude". From the airport, they decided to go to a local grille. While they were there, Eddy couldn't help but recall that fateful night that cost him a pair of 100-dollar drumsticks and leather pants that cost over three times as much. It wasn't the fact that he lost the stuff that had been eating at him the past four years; it was who he did it with. _He _slept with his _best friend's ex-girlfriend. _

'_OK, so I bonked Kayleigh. I can't change that,' _the drummer pondered, _'That still doesn't explain why I haven't even mentioned it to Double D. I mean, she broke up with him, why would he care? Why am I so scared to tell him? Still… what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just say tomorrow like hey Double D, how 'bout you play that a little faster, oh and by the by, I banged Kayleigh four years ago?' _

"Eddy? Earth to Eddy, come in Eddy!"

"Huh?"

"Dude, you gotta quit phasing out like that on us, it's creepy!" Christian declared.

Eddy managed to stay on planet Earth for the rest of the dinner, with a bit of difficulty. Once the Eds, Christian, James, and Cindy finished eating and telling various tall tales, they decided to call it a night.

"Catch you tomorrow, guys!" James called.

"See ya, Jimmy." Eddy saluted, walking off towards his car.

Eddy lazily slid into bed. He tossed and turned for a while, but couldn't get to sleep. He recalled that back in the "5-Hole Dayz" as they called them, Christian once said:

"_Dude, when you're mad, write a song about it. When you're sad, write a song about it. When you're in the best mood you've ever been in your entire fucking life, you'd better believe you should write a song about it!" _

Eddy shrugged. He'd never really written lyrics in his life, and his contributions to _Right Back At Ya _were somewhat half-baked, but he figured it was worth a shot. They needed new material anyway. He decided he'd write a punk song, those were supposed to be short. After about half an hour, he had some relatively good lyrics scrawled out on the hotel room notepad.

_Romantic _

_Hello there, babe, how are ya?  
What's yer sign, girl where ya from?  
Let me buy you a drink  
Then I think  
I'm gonna take you all the way home  
_

_I'm just another fucking romantic  
Can I get your number?  
I'll give ya mine  
I'm just a fucking romantic  
Let's make a date  
I'm makin' time  
_

_C'mon baby, faster (faster)_

_Let's go all the way  
In my front pocket lies  
A big surprise  
C'mon girl make my day_

_I'm just a fucking romantic  
Devine gift to women  
No doubt in mind  
I'm just a fucking romantic  
And you're the last thing on my mind_

Oddly enough, once he penned the last word to the song that described his womanizing methods, Eddy felt a lot better. He'd definitely have to show the guys his lyrics tomorrow, and then he'd have something else to get off his chest.

A/N: WHOA! It's been awhile, huh? Sorry I haven't written in over two months. Normally I'd save you the excuses, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't tell you what was up: Drama shows have ended, writer's block has past, and I got over my wicked awful case of teen-angst. So anyway, hopefully none of you consider me dead or anything. Well, read and review. _  
_


	9. Coming Clean

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything but Christian, all the other characters I've made and any lyrics I've written.

Chapter 9: Coming Clean

Eddy was awakened that morning by the shrill shriek of the hotel's wakeup call. The drummer rolled out of bed and dragged off towards the bathroom for a quick shower. After a quick scrubbing, he threw on an old tour shirt from their _Mental Case_ tour and a pair of white leather pants and then teased up his hair to its usual manmade height.

The twenty-one year old drummer quickly stuffed the notepad that he scribbled his lyrics on the night before and walked briskly out of the Ramada Inn towards his Toyota pickup truck that he was still making payments on. As he rolled out of the parking lot, he tuned into the radio frequency 102.9, which was the metal station that his brother was a DJ for. He found the correct frequency just as the Metallica song "Seek and Destroy" ripped through its final note.

"That was Metallica with _Seek and Destroy", _Eddy's brother, Jeff, bantered, "We're going to take a little break here to pay the bills, but when we come back, we've got some _Ed_tallica for ya. Heh, o brother, where art thou? Yer fans need ya!"

"I'm closer than you think, bro," Eddy chuckled to himself, "I'm closer than you think."

Eddy pulled into the studio parking lot just as the radio finished playing "Mental Case". When he walked towards the recording room, he was surprised to find that Christian and Double D were already there waiting for him.

"Hey guys," Eddy greeted, "You ready to get started?"

"Yeah, sure," Christian agreed, strapping his ESP over his shoulder, "You got any ideas?"

"Yeah, I do, actually," the drummer answered, "I wrote some kinda punk-y lyrics last night, check 'em out!"

Eddy dug the hotel notepad out of his pocket and handed it to his Canadian comrade excitedly. Christian scanned the paper steadily, stroking his chin thoughtfully as he did so.

Christian grinned. "Whoa, Eddy, _you _wrote these?"

Eddy nodded. "Yeah, what do ya think?"

"These are wicked, man!" Christian exclaimed, "We should work on riffs and stuff for it and see if we can't get a demo recorded or something."

"Sounds good to me," Eddward agreed, "I'll work on a riff for it with Ed once he comes back."

"Oh yeah, where is ol' Mullet anyway?" Eddy inquired, taking his place behind the drums.

"He went to answer the phone, I believe." Eddward answered plainly.

"More like 'Daddy Mullet', eh?" Christian smirked, "I never thought somebody with an attention span as low as Ed's could make such a good pop! I bet he's on the phone with Eileen or little Shamus."

"Hey guys," Ed greeted as he walked into their cozy rehearsal space, "I just got off the phone with Jason."

"Jason? What was he calling about?" Eddy asked.

"He said he had something important to tell us after we were done today," Ed informed, "He never said what, though. He said we should get to rehearsing and he'll be over soon."

"Oh, ok," Eddy said, "So let's get started then, maybe we can get that demo done by the end of the day if we get cracking."

Once they filled Ed in on their plans for the day and showed their occasionally absent-minded friend the lyrics for the song Eddy wrote, Ed and Eddward got started on making their staple harmonizing guitar riffs while Eddy and Christian worked on incorporating the bass and drum lines. After a few hours work, they managed to lay out a solid idea for the musical portion of the song and started to work out how to fit the lyrics in.

"Let's go ahead and take five there, guys." Christian proclaimed.

"Yeah, ok," Ed panted, "I need to take a breather and then call Eileen to see how she's doing. I think she might bring Shamus by later."

"Cool. I never really got to talk to the little guy." Christian replied between gulps of Brisk Iced Tea.

As Ed and Christian continued to chat, Eddy started to approach his old friend Double D. He decided to simply get it over with early and tell his friend of his sex-capade with Kayliegh.

"Uh… hey Double D, is it cool if I talk to you a sec?" Eddy gulped.

"Sure Eddy, what's up?" Eddward asked, nursing a bottle of Evian.

"Well uh… there's been something I've been meaning to ya for a pretty long time…" Eddy stammered, scratching his neck nervously.

"Ok, what is it?" the shyer guitar player asked.

"Um, remember the _Mental Case_ tour?" Eddy asked.

"Well yes, a little," Eddward replied, chuckling, "But like the rest of us except for maybe Ed, I lost quite a bit of the memories thanks to our constant 'celebrating'. Why?"

"Well uh… remember the night the tour finally stopped back home in Detroit?" Eddy questioned.

"Hmm… yeah, I think I remember some of that night, now that you mention it," Eddward recalled, "Damn, we partied hard that night! Continue."

"So uh… I sorta met this girl during all the hubbub, ya see…" Eddy explained.

"Heh, yeah, you did get quite a few women, didn't you?" Eddward grinned, giving his friend a friendly punch on the shoulder, "You dog you!"

"Well uh, anyway, that night I brought the girl back to the hotel room just like always, and I started to well, y'know, 'pet the kitty'," Eddy continued, "Then Christian stumbles in, drunk as fuck like he always was, so I redirected over to the tour bus."

Eddward laughed. "Yes, that sounds a lot like something Christian would do. Didn't you at least leave a sock on the doorknob or put up the 'Do Not Disturb' sign?"

"Yeah, but that's not the point!" Eddy griped, "Long story short, the chick I screwed turned out to be Kayliegh."

"Kayliegh?" Eddward repeated, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah…" Eddy said, "I really hope you're not pissed or anything. That's the only reason I haven't told you sooner, I was paranoid that you'd hate me and quit the band or something."

Eddy looked up at his lifelong companion, who wasn't saying anything. Eddy gulped before speaking again.

"For what it's worth, she took my first pair of leather pants, some of my good drumsticks, and all of the pocket money I had on me!" Eddy exclaimed.

He looked over at Eddward again, noticing a smile slowly creeping across his fedora wearing friend's face. Eddy's felt his own eyebrows raise as Double D erupted in a fit of semi-hysterical laughter.

"Y-you thought I'd be _mad _at you and quit the band for _that!" _Eddward laughed, "C'mon Eddy, I've stuck with you through worse when we were kids, why would I have split four years ago for screwing my ex-high school sweetheart who broke up with me?"

"S-so we're cool?" Eddy inquired, extending his hand.

"Of course we're cool!" Eddward agreed, giving the drummer a high five, "You were drunk and the slut probably came onto you anyway! I bet Christian would've done the same thing if he had the opportunity."

The great feeling of relief quickly flowed through the drummer as he high-fived his good friend. At last his fear of having to call up "Heavy Metal" Hank Heinrich to be their guitarist again was put to rest.

"Ok guys, what do ya say that we go ahead and make a demo?" Christian suggested, finishing off his tea.

"Yeah, alright," Eddy agreed, "Maybe we can get it done and show it to Jason when he gets here."

Eddy took his place behind his drum kit while his band mates strapped on their guitars and did microphone checks. With the help of a sound crew member, Christian got the recording system working.

"Ok, it's rolling, guys," Christian called, "Let's go!"

Eddy clicked his drumsticks together four times to count the band in before the four of them dove into their newest song. After Eddward finished up his quick and delightfully sloppy solo, they finished the demo. They then eagerly walked into the soundboard room to listen to their work. Once they pressed a few buttons, they contently listened to their delightfully raw-sounding demo of their short song.

"Hey guys, Jason's on line five for ya." Chris, a soundboard technician interrupted.

"Ok, could ya put him on speaker phone?" Eddy asked.

Chris nodded and pushed a button on the phone.

"Hey Jason!" The band greeted simultaneously.

"Hey guys," their producer's voice responded, "Did you guys get anything done today?"

"Yeah, we got a demo recorded for a song I wrote," Eddy said, patting himself on the back, "Hurry up and get over here, we want you to check it out!"

"Uh… yeah, about that…." Jason trailed, "That brings me to that important thing that I mentioned when I called earlier."

"Oh ok, what is it?" Ed asked, a hint of excitement detectable in his voice.

"I'm not going to be able to produce the record for a while," Jason replied, "It's nothing against you guys, I've just got too much shit on my plate right now. I've got countless other projects that I have to keep an eye on, I'm recording some new stuff with Voivod, and it's insane."

After a moment of awkward silence, Jason spoke again.

"Look, guys, I'm only leaving you 'cause I know you'll be ok without me," The veteran rocker continued, "Don't worry though, I've got a new producer coming in to produce your record. You'll like him, trust me."

"Alright Jase," Christian responded, "You go ahead and do what you have to there, dude."

"Yeah, we'll be ok with the new guy, huh guys?" Ed added, elbowing his band mates affectionately.

Eddward and Eddy nodded. Once they gave their old friend their best wishes, they decided to call it a day. As they all walked away to their respective vehicles to drive to their assorted lodging establishments, they walked away with their heads held high, confident about the days to come.

A/N: Whoa! I'm really really really sorry, I didn't mean to disappear for two months like that. School hasn't really been much of a problem, I'm just up to my neck in different rehearsals for stuff. So uh… I hope I didn't lose any fans or anything. I'll be sure to write the next chapter as soon as I can!


	10. New Producer

Chapter 10: New Producer

Eddy was brought back to consciousness by the sound of his cell phone ringing next to him on the bedside table of the hotel room that he stilled called home. He groaned and grunted to himself and picked it up to see who in their right mind would call him so early. Much to the drummer's dismay (but not to his surprise) the screen read _CHRISTIAN_ in blue letters across the tiny screen.

"H'lo?" Eddy slurred tiredly.

"Hey Eddy, it's me," his friend's voice replied, "I'm waking you up, aren't I?"

"What was your first clue, Einstein?" Eddy snapped warily.

"Well hurry up and get down to the studio, Sleeping Beauty," the Canadian hoaxed, "Jimmy said he wants to shoot some pictures of us rehearsing and our new producer's supposed to show up in a few hours, and we want the whole band to be here for that so we can see whether or not he sucks!"

"Fine, I'll be down soon, I just gotta wake up and throw some clothes on real quick," Eddy replied, attempting to rub the sleep out of his eyes, "See ya later."

"See ya!"

The shortest band member rolled out of bed and trudged over to the tiny hotel bathroom. He quickly teased his hair and plastered it with hairspray the same way he'd been doing it for years and threw on a Poison t-shirt and some of his worn out leather pants. He then jogged out to his truck and sped off to the recording studio. He glanced at the digital clock that was above the radio, which read 10:45.

"Shit!" Eddy seethed to himself, "I'm _late!" _

As he braved his way through the remains of thick California morning traffic, he found himself worrying about what the new producer Jason got for them would be like. He knew that Jason told them that he was leaving them in good hands, but he and his band mates (especially Christian) couldn't help but be a little paranoid about the whole situation. The night before he and Christian had a long conversation about the matter.

_**Last night; 9:45 PM **_

"_**Dude, I know he gave us all these reasons, but I still don't get it," Christian said, "Why would Jason just leave us like this? We've barely gotten two songs recorded for the album and he just splits?" **_

"_**Yeah, I hear what you're saying, but it c'mon Christian, look at the bright side." Eddy stated. **_

"**_What bright side?" Christian yelped, "The only record producer we've ever had just leaves us after only a few weeks of work on our second record that's a follow-up for our debut that we made over four years ago; and he's left us with some mystery producer that's probably just some flavor-of-the-month fuck-head that'll try to turn us into some kinda hard rock form of Coldplay and you're telling me to look on the fucking bright side?" _**

"**_Dude, Christian, calm down, will ya?" Eddy cajoled, "You're taking this just a tad too seriously, don't you think? I mean, you used to be all laid back and stuff." _**

"_**Yeah, but that was back when I wasn't afraid about what was going to happen the next day," Christian said, "If the guy fucks with our image or sound or anything, I say we fire him!" **_

"**_Ok, I agree with you there," Eddy replied, still trying desperately to calm down his friend, "If he tries to mess with the formula we've had ever since we were playing gigs at the 5-Hole, I say we fire him and see to it that the door hits him in the ass on the way out. But you're forgetting one thing, Jason wouldn't hire a guy that would do that to us, he said we'd be fine with this new dude, and I think he's earned our trust, don't you?" _**

"_**Yeah, I guess you're right," Christian breathed, "I'm just too paranoid for my own good sometimes. I think the big reason is 'cause Iron Fist is cranking out their fourth album this weekend." **_

"_**That's all that it is?" Eddy chuckled, "Jesus Christ, Christian, you used to just roll your eyes and laugh whenever a new IF record came out." **_

"_**Yeah, but I was drunk a lot of the time back then," Christian pointed out, "That was probably just the beer talking." **_

"**_Heh, then I never thought I'd say this dude, but I liked you better when you were a shit-faced alcoholic!" Eddy joked.  
_**

"**_And I liked you better when you were sticking your lizard into anything with a pulse and perfume!" Christian cackled in response, "And I think I liked Ed better when he wasn't trying to be Captain Super Dad all the time and I definitely liked Eddward better when he had his hair!" _**

"_**Then it's settled," Eddy kidded, already half asleep, "We're both too sentimental for our own good." **_

Eddy quickly parked his truck and wended his way through the building until he found the recording studio where his friends were waiting for him.

"Hey guys," he greeted, "Sorry I'm late, I kinda overslept."

"It's ok, Eddy!" Ed ensured, tuning his guitar, "The new guy's not here yet and ol' Jimbo's still getting everything set up."

"Ah yeah? Where is the little dude?" Eddy asked.

"Who're you calling 'little', ass-wipe?"

Eddy looked up and saw a tall, skinny guy with dirty-blond hair and a very worn out AC/DC shirt standing in front of him, raising an eyebrow while working with assorted camera equipment.

"Whoa, Jimmy, is that you?" Eddy gawked.

"Nope, sure isn't, who the hell's Jimmy?" the photographer joked.

Eddy cackled as he walked over and greeted his long lost little buddy with a high-five and a "dude hug".

"So how've you been, Jimmy?" Eddy asked.

"I've been doing alright I guess," Jimmy shrugged, "Not really too much going on with me. Y'know, college and work and stuff. Oh, I did see your sister in a play, though, Ed."

"Really?" Ed asked, "How's Sarah doing? She hasn't talked to me in awhile. Sometimes I write her e-mails, but I don't think she gets them because she never writes back!"

"She's her usual charming self," Jimmy mused, "I only was only able to talk to her for about five minutes before I wanted to kill her, so she's getting better. Normally I wanna kill her after two."

After a few moments of assorted chuckles, Jimmy emerged from the camera equipment.

"Ok, I think I've got everything set up," Jimmy proclaimed, "Uh… I think I'll start by getting some shots of you guys jamming or something. Then maybe I'll take some more of you just hanging around the studio, and then I'm thinking we could do some professional poses for t-shirts and posters and stuff tomorrow."

"Works for me," Eddy replied, "Let's get started."

"Oh Eddy, I almost forgot," Christian declared while strapping his bass over his shoulder, "We decided to do a cover tune for the album just for fun."

"Ok, that's cool," Eddy answered, "That makes one less hit we have to write. What song are we going to do?"

"We figured we could record a few of them and see which one the new guy likes." Eddward answered.

"Yeah, so we're going to play a Misfits song for me, a Motörhead song for Christian, an Iron Maiden song for Double D, and probably a Mötley Crüe song for you!" Ed added excitedly.

Eddy smiled, "Cool, I'm all for that. Which one do you want to do first?"

"Uh… can we do the Misfits one first?" Christian replied, "Ed wants to do _Angelfuck_, which is only like, a minute and a half."

The rest of the band agreed and ran through it a few times, trying to keep the classic punk track as raw as possible so they wouldn't "butcher" it. Once they were content with the way it sounded, they recorded a demo with Jimmy snapping quick shots with his camera while they did so. Once they finished recording, they scrambled back to the sound room to hear the fruits of their labor.

While Christian was looking around for one of their sound crew buddies to play the recording, one of the secretaries came in.

"Hey guys," she greeted, "your new producer is here, would you like me to send him in?"

"Yeah, sure." Eddy answered.

The secretary nodded and left the room. A few minutes later, a few quick taps were heard against the door before it opened. When it did, a guy that looked to be about their age walked in. He was clad in baggy black jeans and a black and orange Cincinnati Bengals jersey with a black beanie hat. He also had relatively long dread locks and judging by his skin tone, Eddy guessed he probably had some black in him. The new guy looked around the room and smiled.

"'sup guys?" He greeted, "I'm Randy, I'm gonna be your new producer."

-------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: DUDE! I'm really sorry about taking so long. I had lots of stuff happening, you know how it is. Well, hope this shows you that both me and this fic are still alive and kicking. You guys know the drill, read and review if you want to.


	11. Business Meeting

Disclaimer: Dude… you guys have been reading my stories for like, over a year, man. You know what's mine and what's not.

Chapter 11: Business Meeting

A moment of awkward silence filled the room after Randy introduced himself. Despite its searing level of discomfort, Randy continued to smile; a cool aura of calm and confidence seemingly shining from him. It was Ed who finally broke the silence.

"Hiya, Randy!" Ed greeted, "I'm Ed!"

Randy chuckled.

"I already knew that, but hey Ed," Randy replied, "So, Jason filled me in on what you guys have done so far. He showed me the demos of the tracks you've laid out, and I've gotta admit, I agreed that they're perfect for your comeback album."

"Cool," Eddy responded.

"Now before y'all tell me about what you've been doing today, let me tell ya what my strategy is for the rest of the recording process." The new producer said.

"Alright, sounds like a plan," Christian replied, still silently sizing up the new guy, "What've you got up your sleeves, then?"

The mixed producer smirked.

"Alright, I'll tell you what," Randy replied, "No offense or anything, but this place is a little cramped, what do you say we go grab a bite and talk about it? C'mon, I know a place."

The inquisitive quartet agreed and, with Jimmy in tow, climbed into Randy's huge Hummer, which took them to a semi-casual Asian bistro. As Ed, Eddward, Eddy, and Christian thumbed through the menu with platters whose names they couldn't pronounce, Randy smiled again and waved over a waitress. He looked over at the band before he ordered.

"Are you guys all supposed to be alcohol free or what?"

Eddward and Christian raised their hands.

"Uh… I don't know about Ed n' Eddy over here, but we are." Christian responded.

Randy nodded.

"We'll have three kamikazes, three mineral waters, and six sushi platters, please."

As the waitress wrote everything down and walked away, Randy turned back to the band and their "little dude".

"Anyway, here's what I see happening for the rest of the album," Randy said, "First of all, don't worry, I'm not going to make you do anything out of character like haircuts or anything, so relax, guys!"

Ed, Eddy, and Christian erupted with loud sighs of relief simultaneously.

"As for the actual new music, like I told ya, I like what you've got so far," he continued, "It sounds like you guys pretty much follow the same basic formula for pretty much everything you make. Not that that's a bad thing, though. I listened to _'Mental Case_, and I've come to the conclusion that your 'formula' is this: You guys bring all of your individual influences to the table and throw 'em together."

The band glanced around the table at each other. Christian raised an eyebrow while their new producer continued to speak.

"I mean, I'm not saying anything y'all don't already know, am I? From what I heard, Double D brings up his really complex solos and counter melodies, while Ed backs him up with those chunky riffs, Eddy uses his Tommy Lee-like beats, and Christian comes in with those really heavy bass lines," Randy continued, "It's like that with every song you guys make."

"Yeah, so?" Christian asked.

"So that's how you write your songs, and that's cool and everything, but this time your fans might want to hear something a little different, don't you think?" the producer questioned.

Eddy looked over at Christian, who was now raising both of his eyebrows and giving him a very frightened and paranoid look.

"What do you mean 'different'?" Eddy asked, hoping to put a stop to his bassist's paranoia.

"You know; polishing up your sound a little bit, then maybe shake up the formula you guys used for your last album a little bit." Randy replied.

"What do you mean 'shake up'?" Ed asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I'll tell ya what, Ed," the new guy stated, "I won't tell you, starting tomorrow, I'll _show _you guys what I'm talking about. How's that?"

"That sounds cool." Eddward said.

"Ok, I think that's enough business for now," Randy stated, "What do you say we get to know each other a little bit better?"

The band and photographer quickly agreed. They traded anecdotes for a while until their platters and drinks arrived. Eddy, feeling a bit braver after a few kamikazes, was just about to try and work his old charm on the pretty Japanese waitress when he was suddenly interrupted.

"Eddy!"

He looked over and noticed that it was Christian trying to get his attention.

"Eddy!" Christian hissed, raising his eyebrows and motioning behind him by tilting his head aggressively.

Normally, Eddy would've known immediately that Christian was signaling that he wanted to say something to him privately, but after he had two and a half kamikazes in his system, he was a tad slower on the uptake.

"Eddy!" Christian hissed again, "C'mon, let's get out of here for a sec, we need to talk."

"Aw c'mon, Christian," Eddy sloshed, "I'm havin' fun!"

Christian rolled his eyes. "C'mon rummy, let's go!"

"Aw c'mon!" Eddy grumbled, watching with dismay as the waitress walked away.

The Canadian bassist quietly and quickly dragged his friend into the men's room and locked the door behind him, then gave all the stall doors a quick kick to make sure that they could have their mini band meeting alone.

"Alright, Christian," Eddy slurred, "What the fuck is so important that it couldn't wait 'til _after_ I saw if I still had my damn mojo?"

"Dude, forget about your fucking mojo for a second," Christian said, "This is way more important than you trying to pull a Vince Neil with that kamikaze waitress."

"Oh yeah?" Eddy retorted.

"Yeah," Christian replied, "It's about Randy, man. I don't like him."

"What? Why not? He seems like a nice guy to me!" Eddy exclaimed, nearly falling over.

"Just 'cause the guy's buying us some fruity Japanese dinner and buttering you up with pitcher after pitcher of kamikazes doesn't mean he's going to do what's fucking right for us!" Christian said, grabbing Eddy by the shoulders.

"I fail to see yer point." Eddy answered, trying in his inebriated state to raise his eyebrow.

"Oh c'mon, Eddy," Christian said, "I don't care how drunk you are, tell me you've noticed."

"Noticed what?" Eddy asked, teetering a bit, "Oh! The half black thing! That's not bad, Christian. C'mon, interracial marriages are what make this country so great!"

"No, not that, you fucking wino," Christian explained, "I don't care what kinda racial cocktail he is. I'm talking about that damn vibe he's got."

"Vibe?"

"Yeah man, that damn _vibe," _Christian seethed, "He's got this vibe about him. It's so _mainstream_. You know who's fucking mainstream? Goddamn rap music and shit like Green Day, that's what's mainstream! Mainstream isn't rock n' roll, so mainstream isn't us!"

"And?"

"What do you mean 'and'?" Christian spouted, "I know you heard what he said, you weren't drunk yet. 'This time your fans might want to hear something different, don't you think?' C'mon Eddy, he's trying to turn us into some kinda mainstream rock n' roll puppets like Good Charlotte or something!"

"How do you know?" Eddy slurred.

Christian sighed, finally conceding to the fact that trying to talk about his fear with his band mate in this condition was like trying to turn a porn star into a nun.

"I don't know man," Christian concluded, "I just have a really bad feeling about this Randy shit."

The bassist turned and unlocked the door and helped his plastered pal back to the table.

"Hey guys," Randy greeted, "Where have you two been? Your sushi's getting dry."

"Oh uh, I was just helping Eddy here find the bathroom," Christian fibbed, "He's kinda getting a little bit on the tipsy side. You never know, he might go into the girls' room or something."

"Oh, I see," Randy chuckled, "Eddy sure likes to party, huh?"

"Yeah, we all do," Christian replied, "I'm thinking Eddy's had enough for tonight, though."

Randy shrugged. "I bet he can muscle down a few more, don't you think? You seem kinda nervous, why don't you have a drink or something and loosen up?"

As soon as Randy made the suggestion, Ed and Eddward looked at each other.

'_That's something you think and don't say.' _Eddward mouthed to Ed.

Christian, without blinking or saying a word, pulled out his metal prosthetic leg and dropped it directly onto Randy's plate. As he struggled a bit to keep his balance, he crossed his arms and looked at his new producer's wierded-out facial expression.

"I'm sober," Christian said plainly, "I used to drink a lot, but I ran up a real fucked up bar tab. It literally cost me a damn leg. So if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not piss away all of the stuff I learned in rehab just so you can call yourself a good host."

Randy blinked. "Oh, I'm sorry, man, I didn't realize."

"It's ok, I understand," Christian said, taking his leg back and wiping the crumbs off of it before popping it back into place, "You didn't know."

"Just a head's up, I don't drink anymore, either," Eddward added, fiddling with his fedora, "I died once."

Everybody at the table gave Eddward a weird look.

"What?" Eddward said, "It's true. You guys remember, the time you found me under my table when we were kids!"

"Oh yeah, I remember that!" Ed exclaimed, "That was scary!"

"Yeah, there were bottles everywhere and you were coughing up blood and then you had to get yer stomach pumped!" Eddy slurred, helping himself to another kamikaze.

"And so will you if you don't quit drinking that shit," Eddward answered, taking the shot glass away from Eddy.

After the unpleasantness was behind them, they managed to have a pretty good time for the rest of their business dinner. Once they'd finished and Eddy had finally given up on hitting on the Japanese waitress, they all got back into Randy's Hummer and drove back to the studio. When they arrived, they decided that Eddy wasn't going to be much use for rehearsal in his current condition. They called it a day, bade each other farewell, and went to their cars to go to their hotels. With Eddy being in no shape to drive, Christian gave him a ride.

"I don't get it, dude," Eddy piped up, still drunk, "What makes you think Randy's gonna like, change us and stuff?"

"We've already been through that, he just seems so mainstream," Christian replied, "Why would Jason pick a guy like that to produce us?"

"Well we'll see why tomorrow, won't we?" Eddy hiccupped.

"Yeah, I guess so," Christian said, "I got a bad feeling about this, a really bad feeling."


End file.
